My husband has suffered from severe Depression and Generalised Anxiety to my knowledge, for two years now. It was for both of us our second marriage and we have been together for 19 years. M had a really good and fulfilling job which took him on many business trips abroad and we lived for 6 years in Japan returning back to the U.K. 9 years ago. We had a good life, great friends and close family relations on both sides, however after 6 months of retirement Mick got more withdrawn and started to worry and dwell on things. We sought medical advice and he was put on anti depressants. After a few months it was like a light had been turned back on and he came out of the cloud and I thought he had turned the corner. With hindsight I think he was too high and he did everything to extreme. However March 2018 he started to worry about his health again and he went back onto anti depressants whilst having tests for his physical health, which all proved clear. Things got steadily worse mentally and he stopped eating and was admitted to a Mental Health Hospital where he stayed for 3 months.
We have had great support from the Mental Health Team but Mick lacks any confidence or motivation to do anything. He is very negative and has no interests or purpose, he says he hasn’t the strength or stamina to do the simplest tasks, can’t concentrate to read or do sudoku which he used to, and no confidence to take up golf again or any new activity. All suggestions are dismissed or ignored and he is becoming more and more withdrawn, not talking and often just staying in bed or pretending to be asleep. He has lost all personality, a shadow of his old self.
I have to do everything to maintain the house, our social life is non existent because he doesn’t feel up to going out, I have to make excuses and cancel all the time. If I don’t make him his dinner or provide something to eat he doesn’t bother, and I have to push him to shave, wash etc.
I exist between states of sadness, anger, frustration and resentfulness towards him and just don’t know what to do next.
I ensure that my life continues as best I can going to see friends attending some classes etc but OUR life is non existent.
Sorry this is a long message, it does help to put things down in writing though.