What next dilemma…

I am a career for my mum who is 68 and is disables with osteo and rheumatoid arthritis. She has carers four times a day in her family home, but now needs support over night.
Social services have placed her in a lovely respite care home for two weeks, but then I don’t know what will happen.
She is a council tenant in a one bedroom bungalow, so cannot have live in carer and the cost of an overnight carer is out of our reach.
I’m looking for help with knowing what to ask for.
My is cross with me for currently being in the care home, I think it’s what she needs, but we haven’t spoken to social services about long term needs.

She has dropped below the threshold, so social services will be picking up most of the bill and I’m worried they will send her home after the two weeks are up.
Please help.

If Social Services have placed her in respite care for 2 weeks, then they MUST make sure that it is safe for her to return home again, I suspect the main reason was to assess her future care needs. Have they been in touch with you, as her carer?
Did you ask for the respite? Now is the time to say you CANNOT care for her any more. If she can’t manage with the maximum of 4 carer visits a day, then residential is the only option left.
Of course it’s not what she wants, actually it’s not what you want either. You want a fit, healthy mum!!
What you want and what you NEED are two entirely different things.
Need always has to come first.

Hi Michelle

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to the forum and to highlight some of the options for connecting with fellow carers and for getting support from Carers UK should you need it.

Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ll find others in a similar position to yourself.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK - the next online meet up is today (Tuesday 31 August), 11.00-12.00 with further sessions shown in that link. This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK - these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org)

Carers UK also provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers a range of subjects including:

Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions.