We don’t need advocates, we just need people to do their jobs, listen and respond appropriately!
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only if everybody was like that
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Just thought I’d weigh in, I have a carers card as an unpaid carer through Carers Card UK and I’ve found it very helpful to have on me. Even though I’m not sure I’ve ever had to use it, it’s reassuring to know I could bring it out if needed 
Would recommend!
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That’s awful!! Good on you for standing your ground. I think some nurses epect you to be stood infront of them in a carers uniform before they believe you. It Drives me f**king mad!!! >:(
Im a 39 year old male and care for my Mother in law and have done for 4 years. She was once in hospital in her own room (Not private just lucky lol) and she needed her pad changed. i called the nurse who came in with all the pads, wipes etc. She looked at my wife, then at me and She said “Could you step outside please. I doubt she wants you looking at her.,”…
I said “Oh, Im her carer. I do this at home. I can help if you like”
My MiL looked up and said “He’s seen it all before”. The nurse replied “Well, i’d rather you leave.”
My wife looked and said “Mom do you want him to leave? (She said no its okay) He’s her main carer. He’s okay?” The nurse looked me up and down “That’s at home and you’re not at home now. You’re a man and blood family. I’d rather you leave or i’m not doing it for her own privacy. He shouldnt WANT to see it anyway…” My wife went mental at her (My wife used to be a nurse until she became ill)
I’ve never felt so… Theres not even a word to describe it. Just felt like I was “A pervy man” and not a carer. Not a person who had literally wiped her bum every day for three years, got her tablets, changed her pad, inserted tablets up her bum, cooked her meals etc.
Wtf is wrong with some people?!
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“What does a carer look like?”
In my case a bloody Panda with the black under the eyes etc
Still…mustn’t grumble (isn’t there a Jasper Carrot 
routine about that)
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@ReoUk I had a similar experience when Graham, my husband, was in hospital last Oct/Nov. He started as the fifth patient in a four bed ward… Let’s not go there, but as he needed oxygen 24/7 they had to run a line ACROSS the next bed to get to him! After 36 hours he got his own bay and next day I visited to find the curtains closed. I realised the reason as the room smelled like… well, you get the idea.
I said "knock knock, it’s Chris, Graham and pulled the curtain back far enough to get in. A nurse turned and said ‘you had better wait outside, we are delaing with him’. I replied ‘it’s OK I deal with this at home. Hi Graham.’ She repeated ‘you’d be better waiting outside.’
So I put down my bag - grabbed a pair of gloves and leaned in to kiss him before saying ‘OK what can I do to help?’ She was SO shocked so I just added ‘I am no longer squeamish so shall we get on with making him more comfortable?’
I just kept giving him reassurance as I realised he was delirious and didn’t know where he was and helped roll him and pull sheets around and wipe him down. Not sure they had ever encountered anyone willing to “dive in” before. After that word spread and I DID get a bit more respect apart from one nurse who refused to allow me to put a mask on him and press a button to start a nebuliser (she wanted to interrupt his lunch to do the nebuliser!) - even the Matron had asked if I was OK doing that as she knew I was competent and it save nursing time. I simply told that woman ‘well if you want to waste your time, go ahead’ and stood staring at her!
I was refused a cup of tea when G was offered one as ‘we don’t provide drinks for visitors’. I pointed out I had registered as a Patient Carer and the woman huffed at me - all the others on the trolley were really nice and friendly - always get a jobsworth I suppose. Another told me off for getting a jug of water from the kitchen so I simply said ‘so I have to summon a nurse to get him water? REALLY? I don’t see you checking if patients have enough fluids.’
Yes, we are invisible most of the time! They never seem to take into account what we do OUTSIDE a hospital setting and most of the stuff is not new or shocking to us.
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