@1Peter5v7 , aye, it was tough some days. I took the job full time after a split with my second girlfriend. I caught her having an affair with her so called ex-boyfriend. If I sought solace, mum was starting to struggle with her mobility and her asthma. So it want from from part time carer to full time. Before that I care for my dad and my grandma before. Oh and, my ex-girlfriends mum. She and my mum remained friends despite the split. I’m gutted though that she eventually found the hard way. At least she didn’t hold it against me. Looking back you could say it came under sacrifice. I lost a lot over the years. Now, I shrug it off. I am having me time for now, until I’m mentally and physically well. 
Hope things are well where you are.
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@JohnnyBoy
(I tried to respond specifically to you about your previous post, but it didn’t work…fortunately you realised! I have now read about using “@…” at the start of a post, so hopefully it works this time).
Thank you for kindly sharing something of your background / caring experience. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time in different ways.
You did an amazing job caring for four different people…I would definitely say that was a huge sacrifice that cost you so much. It’s good that your mum and your ex-girlfriend’s mum remained friends despite what happened.
I’m really pleased that you are taking time for yourself now, and I hope your mental and physical health recovers well.
Thanks for your good wishes. Being honest, life continues to be a big struggle in many ways, but hearing from other (former) carers like yourself on this forum is hugely encouraging.
Take care
Matt
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@1Peter5v7 , aye cheers for that. We each have our own hurdles to try and jump over (in my case, crash through them). Looking back, 30+yrs is a lot. Aye, I’m trying to sort myself out. I’m still not at full health yet. I’m seeing my GP later this week. My chest is OK (just about) but, my throat is still bothering me. Mentally, I’m broken. 
Still waiting for my talking therapy sessions to start. Anyway, thanks again. Hope your bearing up better than I am.
@Penny How are you doing? I hope you don’t think your original thread has been hijacked, but we are still here for you. 
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Johnny, hopefully not broken long term, just completely and utterly exhausted. I know holiday places are expensive right now, but once the kids have gone back to school think about going to stay somewhere for a break, just to get away from it all. One of my earliest trips alone I went to Chichester, about 40 miles from home. I stayed in a B&B so that if I didn’t get back to them safely, someone would notice! I also went to the Best Western Hotel in Tiverton for a few days, but that was very impersonal. That was when I realised I needed a book or magazine in the dining room. I rang Best Western directly and they gave me lots of discounts, it cost very little indeed.
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@bowlingbun , that’s my hope. It’s been hell the last 13-14months. Even my friend’s sister-in law (in Portugal) spoke to me. She’s a GP. She use to work in the UK for quite awhile. Herself and my mate and the kids had to leave the UK in the end because of Brexit. She said, I’m close to complete burnout. It explains why I’m ill. I’d like a holiday but, I can’t arrange it right now. I have other irons in the fire. I can’t drop everything and just go. We did recall though about their wedding myself and my other friends did for them. Their karaoke as appalling. Made me wish I was deaf that day. When things start to ease off (hopefully), I might have book a break away somewhere. I’ll leave the door open on that. Anyway, hope yourself and your family are OK. 
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Just try one or two nights away.
If you have time to paint railings, go to the railway club etc. then maybe it’s time for some dedicated self care?
I hope things get easier for you and you can arrange a short break away somewhere in due course.
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@Sue24 , that’s my hope. How are you and your family?
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That’s good. We’re okay thanks. In process of sorting out probate which is taking time but hopefully progress is being made. How are you doing?
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May I just remind everyone - and those who have not heard of the charity…
This charity gets hotel companies to donate one or two nights breaks all around the country which they make available to Carers FREE OF CHARGE (just an admin fee). Many if not all include breakfast and they are just rooms which the hotel (most are big chains) do not think they will be able to sell. No one else at the hotel knows you are on a special rate as it’s all booked through Carefree.
You can book up to three months in advance, but you do need to register with the charity and prove that you are a Carer. I only used them once and it was great to just get away.
Worth a look at the very least.
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Thanks for that. As others have already said, I sincerely hope that you will not feel broken longer term, and that you get all the help and support you need to be able to start turning things around and feel a bit better.
Hopefully you may be able to take a well-deserved short holiday when things allow.
Take care
Matt
@Sue24 , I’m OK. My throat is still annoying me. But I’m able to eat small meals (I had a steak for dinner yesterday). I’ll book to see my GP on Monday. Looks like I’ll need to have a hospital checkup. So much for having a few days off. I know what sorting out probate is like. Mine was arduous. It’s takes a while, believe me. I’m in the process of packing and storing away unwanted items. Need to sort my unwanted clothes. I’ll take them to a charity shop soon. Hope you and your daughter are OK.
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@1Peter5v7 , that’s my hope, to “fix” myself. I’m working on it.
That’s good that you’re ok and can eat small meals. Hope your GP appointment on Monday goes okay. There’s always something isn’t there! The latest stumbling block I’ve reached re probate is that I now need to open an “Executors” bank account. With working full time as well it’s having the time to do it all that’s a pain. 
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@Sue24 some banks don’t do executor bank accounts anymore some do. I know the Halifax do. I know nationwide don’t do them . I can imagine it’s all a pain .nothing is ever straightforward and easy is it. I hope it all goes well.
Also I think the Halifax customer service is open till 6pm .and it’s open on Saturday and Sundays. You can do it all over the phone. They send you a security number through the post to register and that’s what you use when you ring up to be put through to a person.or if you had to fill in a form they would send you one. I don’t know if any of this is useful. Take care.
@Teddybear …thanks for this info, it would be easier to sort it out over the phone. I’ll call them tomorrow.
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@Sue24 , oh dear. Some banks can be a little strict about “executors” account. Mine wasn’t to bad, a couple of hiccups but, easy to sort out. Make sure you have the necessary stuff needed to get the account up and running. My throat is swollen but “curable” my GP said. So I’m back to eating soft and easy to swallow foods. Looking back, it wasn’t wise eating steak and chips plus a couple of cold beers in the evening. But, it was my birthday in my defense. Hopefully, you’ll get the account going. I hope you and your daughter are OK. 
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Thanks, I think I have all the paperwork needed other than the actual grant of probate or letter of administration so hopefully they’ll let me open the account to put the money in ready to distribute once probate done.
I don’t blame you for eating steak on your birthday and having a couple of drinks. I’d have done the same! That’s good that your throat is curable. My daughter and I are both okay, thanks for asking 
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@Sue24 , OK, cool. As I said, probate takes time. How is your daughter coping with the loss of her dad?
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