Update on M's Living and Work Situation

This is not actually a new topic, as I wrote on this topic last September, but haven’t been able to continue the topic from that post. I can only find that post on my profile and when I try clicking on it to add more I get a message saying ‘Oops! That post is not available or is private’, or words to that effect.

To cut a long story short, M was working at a butcher’s shop next door to us and living in a granny flat belonging to his boss, with his boss, his wife and his sons living right next door and a connecting door between his living room and the bedroom where one of the sons slept, often with his girl friend. He had increasingly more grievances both in the granny flat and in the workplace, so his social worker asked for M’s name to be put on the waiting list for a supported living facility for people with learning difficulties. When a vacancy became available, the social worker advocated for it to be given to M, which it was and M moved in last Monday. He got a lot of grief for moving, with a lot of very unkind comments being made about him and the other service users at the facility. There were issues with regard to the flat as well and my oldest family member, a son, who has been keeping a log, and his friend, who works in social care, told M he could resign from his job with immediate effect and also block his employers and fellow employees on his phone and on Facebook. The blocking was only advised as temporary, but M is adamant that he never wants to speak to them again. This makes it a little awkward as they are neighbours of ours, but they haven’t approached us and we haven’t seen them.

Although M had always said he would stay in his job at the butcher’s shop until he found something more suitable and autism-friendly, but things got so bad, he couldn’t wait for another job. and his key worker at the facility and social worker on the learning disability team will be checking out the possibilities. Meantime, M is enjoying his freedom and also visiting us here on a daily basis.

Gilli

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@Gilli

M did well to stick it as long as he did. His work coach was rubbish and didn’t understand what a supportive workplace should look like nor advocated for him. They’ll miss him at the butcher’s and appreciate his work now he has gone and they can’t delegate some of their tasks to him.

I hope he makes some good friends where he is now. He rarely had a break from working so he deserves some time off. He could then do voluntary work until he gets a new job.

Hopefully, now M is out of that situation you can relax a bit.

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I used to work in a college supporting people. Some of them had mild to moderate learning difficulties (dyscalculia and dyslexia) but could do quite well given the right support and environment in order to flourish there. I am sure that you can manage to find something else for him soon. My advice is to do research and ask around. Consider all your options and perhaps also you should talk to a career advisor. Make some brief summary notes. Most further education colleges now have a friendly trusted advisor or use the internet to find one. Even for physically disabled folks finding out about and securing meaningful work is hard.

M has still not been successful in finding employment. He attended a work training courses run by Dobbies Garden Centres, but there were only a few vacancies available and he was not one of the successful applicants. He was told that he would be given support in looking for suitable employment, but he has been told by his job coach at the Jobs and Benefits Centre that he has to look for a job himself, that the people helping him are only supposed to make suggestions and he has to hunt for a job every day. He tried to point out to his job coach that he was autistic and had learning difficulties, but the job coach just said it didn’t matter, he had to hunt himself for a job. He has been seeing someone from the Now Project, which helps people with learning difficulties and also those who are on the autistic spectrum to find employment. I told him to tell her what the job coach had said and ask for her help and advice.

The other problem related to M’s job search is that he is a keen member of his Special Olympics basketball team and is keen not to have to work on a Saturday, when they often have matches, as he doesn’t want to let his team down, but the job coach has told him he can’t pick and choose when he works and when he doesn’t. The problem is, the majority of the team don’t work more than a couple of days if at all and their Saturdays are free.

I really don’t have time to be involved in M’s job hunt as I have still a lot to do in relation to my husband’s passing and I also have two other offspring on the autistic spectrum and, of course, as my fellow widows will know, I’ve had to take on roles for which he was responsible.

M told me he was going to enquire about work at some places which had been looking for staff. He was told he must ring up about vacancies, but he says he wouldn’t know what to say on the phone.

edited by moderator to anonymise names

@Gilli
These are some websites I’m aware of that could offer M some help in his search - I’ve not been directly involved in using them, and have no ‘reviews’ of how good they are BUT could offer some ‘fresh’ leads for M. Please ignore if you’ve tried or know they’re not appropriate for him

I thought that maybe esp interesting to M as they’re assoc to special olympics:

This is another one:

Hope this can help a little. The last one has a questionnaire to fill in, both look like they have adapted their interviews to support individuals who are on the spectrum.

sending hugs and empathy

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