A bit of background, I am a single mum of 2 children, one who is autistic. I am also the only carer for my dad who has COPD. My eldest brother who has cerebral palsy has lived with me for 6 years when my father became too unwell to care for him.
I have been having a lot of thoughts of finding some assisted living for my brother, he has never lived alone but would do well in a supported housing setting with a warden, I would then continue the daily care but would get the respite I need with him not being here all the time, he never gives me any free space when I have friends around etc.
The problem is he is 50 and these kind of care settings are only available for residents ages 55 and over.
Two questions
Where can I begin in trying to find alternative accommodation?
And
Am I just being selfish?
None of my family helps out whatsoever
It’s a shame your brother moved in with you.
He is entitled to supported living at any age. Contact the LD team at Social Services and insist on an urgent assessment.
Forget about you doing the care, you’ve done enough.
What outside help does dad have from Social Services. You are not the family slave!!!
My son is 42, brain damaged at birth, lives in his own flat with carer support. My health is ruined.
Thanks for the reply
I have another brother who doesn’t speak to my family
I have recently had an assessment with adult as for dad and care starts next week, me and my dad are close anyway so I expect I’ll still be providing some care to him .
I keep thinking about getting my brother assessed but I feel terribly guilty as he is very happy here and my children adore him too
You are not getting any younger, I nearly died when I was 52, then nearly killed in a car accident when I was 54, widowed in between the other two events.
If your brother lived nearby you could help him settle in while you are well. He could still see you all, but just not live full time with you.