My mom in law is 94, bedridden, blind and almost completely deaf (we literally have to yell to communicate as she won’t wear a hearing aid) is becoming a difficult case for me. I have been caring for her for 7 years but she has lived with us for most of our married life apart from the ten years we lived in the UK. She lives in South Africa.
The problem is that when she passes a motion, she likes to put her hands in it and she smears it everywhere. My husband and I are beyond despair because in spite of our every effort to stop this behaviour, she continues to do it. When we confront her she either denies it, or says that she can’t remember doing it or else she is helping it out. I try and keep her motions soft with laxatives, so she doesn’t have to help anything out… Anyway, the other day, I came to change her and was relieved to find she actually hadn’t done any delving into her nappy. I turned around to put on my gloves and in that instant, her hand disappeared into the leg hole of her nappy and she coated her hand in her poop. I freaked out because we have asked her so nicely to stop, explaining the health issues, etc and she promises most faithfully (when she actually deems to admit that she does it) to stop and never do it again, so for this blatant foray into her nappy just tipped me over the edge.
I am sorry to say that I told her what a disgusting woman she was and turned around and walked out, closing the door behind me. I fed and watered her, but I was so angry that I couldn’t touch her for the rest of that day because I thought I would hurt her if I did. My husband was furious with her.
Is there ANY WAY, to stop this behaviour? I can’t keep up with the linen changes and the house always stinks of poop. What surprises me is that she eats tiny portions of food, yet seems to poop more than I do. I also find that she hides her food in tissues, often covered in poop, under her pillows or in the bedside cabinet.
She is definitely losing it mentally, but this bad toilet habit has been a problem even when she was mobile and able to use the loo. I walked in on her once last year, and she was pooping into her hand. My bathroom was always smeared with fecal matter. It was everywhere. I was often gobsmacked at where I actually found bits poop. Then she’d walk in it and track it through the house. Thank goodness I have tiles, not carpets!!!
So I am totally at a loss as to what to do.