Melly
Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. Want to settle son before I get too old, exhausted or incapable of caring anymore.
Dont want to be 70 or 80 and still doing this - I hear some do. That is scary.
I can understand after reading your signature that you do indeed have to find the place that is going to be long-term.
My son finds change very hard, gets very anxious and becomes non-verbal.
I have seen a couple of places.
But the search goes on for the right one!
hi
my daughter lives in a supported living apartment, but on her own as the lady she shared with unfortunately died. it took LA nearly 3 yrs to find a replacement (unbelievably) and by this time our M. had got used to living on her own, with 24/7. care, so as she has the tenancy we were able to say that we did not want anybody else living in with her. yes she has to pay bedroom tax for the unused room, but we have turned it into a therapy room for her which is great.
we started out using Direct Payments, but after a few years decided that we were too old to go down that route any longer, so started using a care provider, for one reason and another, this did not work out, so we changed care provider which proved a big issue as we wanted to take her carers with us and most of them wanted to stay. however, being assertive, and insisting, who I wanted and who I did not want, 3 mths. in and we are doing well. I don’t think you ever stop worrying about our sons and daughters with special needs, actually, I still worry about my sons who do not have special needs. it seems to be a mothers lot to worry about our children.
I just thought you might be interested in our story. its so important to get our special sons and daughters settled so that we can relax a little as we get older.
best wishes to you and your son.
Hi Pamela
It’s nice to hear of a supported living arrangement that’s working well.
Must be a relief for you.
I definitely dont want to be working this hard for ever!
In North Yorkshire the council is building a number of Extra Care housing places.
A big building with 50 individual flats, you get your own front door, own bathroom etc, with support on site including night care.
The places have a restaurant on site and activitys in the community rooms.
For basically anyone, disabled, elderly, learning dificultys etc.
So sounds ideal you get your own flat but with built in support.
I think that is the way to go, as long as it doesn’t become a sort of ghetto, and the care is good. Some social interaction and food onsite would be brilliant.
A new place near me hadn’t sort out waste management, bin men wouldn’t touch it, so a pile of rotting waste built up! I had a quiet word and got it sorted, but the place nearly got a bad name when virtually new!
Londonbound
Good to hear of the council building something like that.
That does sound like the kind of place that could work well
There still has to been an assessment for a care package. Not all residents automatically get help. Although they met the criteria to live in extra care. Within the build the criteria is usually a three tier system. Those needing high, medium or no care.
Obviously, residents will need to access care as they age and get health issues.
My son doesn’t need help ALL the time, he’s happy in his flat on his own by himself at night, as long as he knows that if something happens, ie the power goes off, he has someone he can call. There is another house run by the same care provider which is staffed 24/7, so he can always ring them. One member of staff can cover a few people like that.
He’s happy in his flat during the day, but his road safety is poor due to brain damage so he needs someone with him at all times when he is out and about.
He’s always helped me cook since he was tiny, but needs someone to take overall charge. A good “restaurant” would give opportunities to socialise, especially if the residents were able to help with food preparation. (At the farm college he went to, there were about 40 students, arranged in teams, who took it in turns to cook the main meal at lunchtime, so everyone learned to cook according to their abilities.
The council are building quite a few units at a cost of £28 million, most are replacing old outdated facilitys, old buildings, needing more and more maintenance.
So some residents were living in the old buildings and have transferred to the new building, they were anyway unable to live on their own, needed a bit more support.
Night care is the big incentive as the council doesn’t provide night care, so anyone needing night care would have had to go into an expensive care home.
This scheme gives independence you still have your own flat, your own space, but support available at the touch of a button, down the corridor.
It depends on your care needs, some as Bowlinbun says just need the reassurance that if something happens then help is available.
I would imagine if you were already having day carers, then your same care workers could carry on visiting at the new facility.
Or if you had had ending up in hospital and unable to go back home, going into one of these places and a package of support arranged.
But as well for maybe elderly who are living on their own who are having issues maintaining their house, repairs, looking after garden etc.
Everything is covered, electrical issues, gas etc, you don’t have to mow the lawn, sort out leaking drainpipes or worry about the roof.
I might be able to provide a link, there was an article in the local paper or message me, I can provide the details.
Londonbound
Thank you for reply.
For some reason I am unable to send PMS.
If you are able to send put a link on a reply that would be good
Cloudygal, I have PM’d admin about your PM issue.
Melly1
Melly
Thank you. It may be me doing something daft, not sure. Juggling so many balls in the air at the moment!
Have paperwork piling up on top of everything else…and it cant wait!
This info might help if you get a spare minute to look
Melly1
Melly1
Thank you.
Hi,
here is link to the supported place, Londonbound was telling us about. She PM’d it to me.
Melly1
Londonbound
Thank you so much for sending that link to Melly. Its definitely the kind of place that could well suit. I will keep an eye out for similar close to home.
It’s good to get an idea of what’s around
Melly
Thanks for posting it here.
Had a bit of a tricky day today. few days actually so the time is coming closer for this kind of thing.
In Hampshire there is something called SARG, Supported Adults Residential Group. They hold details of everyone looking for housing who has very special needs, and they plan and build what is needed in conjunction with providers and the NHS. This is the place to start. Very often the flats are provisionally allocated before they are built!
I have been diagnosis under DSM-5 Scale Level 2 Autism. I live in a semi detached sheltered bungalow with wardens now called support workers visiting me 5 times a week. Because of my experiences with neighbours, i moved about 30 times or more because i am an easily taken advantage off and very impressionable, many have done many things to me. I deffo would no recommend you put him in private accommodation, esp. in terrace this will put them in great danger.
Housing association but in a good rural environment wih low crime or sheltered semi detached they will give it with the right reasons for safeguarding
It would be better long term if he was in a group situation to avoid isolation. What are Social Services doing to help? My son has almost all his rent paid through Housing Benefit.