my name is Rodrigo and I am a full time carer for my wife Victoria and my nearly 3 year old son, my wife has a connective tissue disorder and has limited movement and has injuries often, I have been caring for my wife for about 2 years now and I have been really struggling recently with depression, insomnia, anxiety, escapism etc I have got to a point now where I feel really traped, I love my wife so much but I can never really relax because I always need to do something for either my son or my wife and lately I have been escaping as much as possible by just gaming, I can’t sleep because I am always thinking about something, I feel like I am failing and feel guilty that I am not doing a good job because I spend any spare time escaping, our sex life is non existent and I feel like we are room mates, I barely get even kisses and I feel inadequate, I have tried to talk about it loads of times but either she doesn’t understand my feelings or maybe I’m asking too much I’m not sure, I feel really guilty for thinking about this when she has to deal with all these issues, but I’m not sure what the morality of it all is, if I am ill or sad or drained I have to keep going, my feelings don’t have value and I feel like leaving and resentment, although I never would leave, I try my best to not take it out on her because it’s not her fault but some days I can’t even look at her, and I feel like an a****le for it, has anyone been in my wife or my position and give any advice or tips to deal with things of this nature, I would really appreciate your honest thoughts on if I am being too selfish.
Welcome to the forum. Can you tell us the actual diagnosis for your wife?
There may be others here facing similar challenges.
Are you still able to work, or just tied to the house all the time?
Especially for a couple as young as you, with a young child, it’s really important to keep a happy relationship, between yourselves, and with your child. Children deserve a happy childhood.
This means that your wife MUST accept outside care, someone to do the jobs she can’t.
You can both hate her illness together, but not take it out on each other.
Is your wife claiming disability benefits?
Has she had a Needs Assessment from Social Services, and you, a Carers Assessment?
I’ll be back later, have a room to paint this morning!!!