Stoke- Aphasia and other

Hello my first venture / topic etc. (Newbie) into Carers Online-quick background follows
I am 82 coming 83- Wife had a stroke some 3 years ago- physically reasonable but as a result of stroke- no speech- poor hearing-some confusion at simple tasks EG ( brushes the floor / teeth etc with brush upside down, just one of 101 confusing results of stroke) tries to help me with things, cooking cleaning, washing etc, but usually not safe to do so
Getting Carers Allowance and have had some support from local Stroke association reps.
Local doctors have done what they can over the 3 years , but not very helpful, especially during Covid
Had NHS speech therapy for a while, little progress- tried a private therapist for some 18 month - very slight progress then Covid, expensive any progress lost during Covid-so don’t think worthwhile and wont re-start

Most of the time I manage, but age taking its toll, has been extra difficult during Covid, live in the country, no friends calling etc.
Problems with myself-- Tired out, poor sleep, rheumatoid arthritis-- don’t intend but loose my patience and shout ( so unfair on her),irritable ( don’t think I used to be-) -my own medical problems, big list but OK ish.-- just down down in the dumps ??

I realise that life, is not fair and many many are in much worse-situations, but dark days- little to look forward to, age against me, but any advice re, speech, understanding, moving forward most welcome in that there must be many in similar situations
PS 33 years fireman /fire Officer/ senior, had all sorts of situations - so don’t think I give in easily
Bye Alan

Time to get some help from Social Services.

Hi Alan,

caring is tough and you sound like you need some support and regular breaks. Its very different to a job (even a demanding job) because in paid work, at the end of your shift - you go home and someone else takes over.

Has your wife had a Needs assessment so that she/you can have some practical support? If your wife had care visits they could help her with simple tasks and take some of the pressure off you. (I realise you said you live in the country and this could be more difficult to arrange.)

Re her speech, has she been provided with communication supports, as she has not been able to recover much speech?

Is your arthritis affecting your sleep or is it your lowered wellbeing? A lack of sleep makes everything so much harder to cope with.