Respire care, lots of questions

All about caring
1

Hi

I’m looking for advice regarding respite care, my husband has a neurodegenerative disease, he lost the ability to walk overnight in December 2024 and spent 3 weeks in hospital. We had 12 weeks CHC funded care and then it was withdrawn (long story) I’ve been his main carer with the help of our son ever since. I’m due to have a minor operation soon and will need a 2 week recovery period with no lifting and if I’m honest I’m exhausted and need a break. My husband is still aware of his surroundings but fails to see me as his carer, he absolutely hated being in hospital and I know he will not agree to respite care, how do I suggest this to him?
Also, I’m worried that it will be unsettling for my husband and make our lives even more difficult when he comes back home, I’d appreciate peoples experiences of using respite care. We don’t have anyone else we can ask to help and I just don’t know what to do for the best.

2

Hi. Could you get your GP to explain to your husband that is essential that he goes for respite to allow you to recover? That way, it won’t be your fault. Mums GP used a meds check as a reason to do a cognitive test on my Mum last year. If you’ve got a good GP, I’m sure they would find an excuse to see your husband. Good luck.

3

I would suggest a conversation along the lines of “I have loved you enough to care for you, and that’s been really tough for me. Don”t you love me enough to have alternative care for a few weeks? I’m going to have SURGERY and need time to get well enough before I can look after you again? Not even a holiday!”