Advice needed

Hi I’m looking for some advice please I am I’ve been with my husband for 17 years and I was diagnosed 12 years ago with Parkinson‘s disease at the age of 35 I’ve never had one night off from being his full-time carer for the past 12 years he is unsteady on his face he falls a lot and he needs a lot of superfast care in his mind he is okay and that’s it he’s a lovely person before I say anything else sir my wanting my advices I’ve been invited away in December and it will be the first time that I’veLeft him on his own it’s my friends 40th birthday I would love to go and I’ve talked to my husband about it and he says oh well I’ll stay on my own this is not possible as like I say he has all the above problems but I feel that I need a break but he won’t have a carer is in he won’t have family in and I’m not quite sure what to do some help some advice would be great thank you very much in advance :slight_smile:

I’m currently enjoying my first break in over 6 years, how you have managed 12 years is beyond imagining, and in that respect I take my hat off to you.

However, it is not a good thing to do, everyone needs respite.

There comes a point where the carees needs have to supplant their wants.

I’ve paid to put my wife into respite care for two weeks, you may not be in a position to do that.

You need to speak to Social Services and see what can be arranged, depending on how long you need to be away. They will not give in easily, you will probably have to whinge, whine, plead and beg, but do it. You’ll get nothing by being a simpering punchbag. (I’m not saying that you are, that’s just for emphasis).

You are almost certainly entitled to three hours a week respite already. This can be “banked” for up to six weeks giving you an 18 hour break. Have you asked about this, or been told about this before?

Hi thanks for the reply I’ve never heard about the bands M3 hour a week for up to 6 weeks so that’s really interesting to know as for the length of time I wanted to be aware was two nights three days so not a lot really so asked for but I will look into it and yeah I’m not can I am not a whimpering and wildflower but I just like to do what’s best by me to spend and make sure is a poo but I am a real last of last year so that’s I also have to do things for me and that I am important so and if I dontlook after me then I can’t look after him if that makes sense thanks anyway

I fully agree with this position. One should be given rest, one should not be sacrificial endlessly. Everyone has the right to rest and moral recovery. No one can be under 24/7 pressure indefinitely.

Thanks for all the messages of help I got my husband’s family on board and hopefully they will both help me out fingers crossed :slight_smile: