HI everyone, I’m new here I care for my Mum who has had dementia for a few years now. She is getting worse lately, she lives with my Dad and I have a sister who helps as well. Amongst a multitude of other worsening problems she has decided that she won’t get her hair cut and it is now really long and thin and right down her back. She used to colour it and now it is half coloured and half grey she has decided she just needs to spray it with root touch up spray which just makes it worse.
Does anyone have any tips for getting her to agree to a hair cut and sort out? I know she would be absolutely mortified if she could see herself.
We are in the process of starting new meds (memory enhancer and anti psychotic) so maybe they will help, I just feel sad for her as she has always been such a smart lady.
Thanks
The new meds may help. It may be worth asking the GP for a referral to Social Services so that a needs assessment can be carried out. It’s a bit of a Post Code lottery, but this can produce help for everyone - it’s how I got my wife time in a Day Centre recently.
When it comes to personal care and grooming a person with dementia will often obey a uniformed carer, even when family are being refused - it’s a bit of the old school attitude to obey authority figures as they are perceived as the experts.
Good luck with that.
Thanks I hope the meds make a difference, it’s still early days. She is refusing to go to a day centre, or have the support worker take her out but they are going to work on it. It’s so exhausting for everyone. I really tried today about the hair thing and she just got really paranoid about it so I had to stop. I know its a small thing amongst many other problems though. 
If she doesn’t want to go out at all, how do you think she would react to a home hairdresser? Initially just to trim her hair?
Did she used to enjoy going to the hairdresser, or hate it?
Yes she was always really smart with hair short and tidy not at all like how she has it now! I have suggested a home hairdresser but she wont let me organise one. I’ll keep trying because I think it would have to be someone very understanding !
Hmm, it may look odd and not smart but if its clean, does it really matter what she looks like? Is it worth battling over?
Might a plait or a bun suffice?
With dementia its best to laugh things off or agree rather than battling. You might need to save your strength for bigger battles in the future
My hubby was being difficult at one point about having his hair washed. I managed to get a Nilgua no rinse shampoo. Its expensive as far as shampoo, but it worked! He soon got over being difficult about his hair. I know its horrible, seeing a loved one who was always immaculate, looking very unkempt. Afraid your standards have to change and powers of persuasion kick in. Do you think you could have your hair done in front of your mum, and turn it into a girly afternoon? She may, just may be afraid and seeing you having yours done …?
some old advice may help…
Some new
If you can find a good home hair dresser then they are worth there weight in gold…our lady arrived one day and found my mum was too sleepy to keep her head upright so she agreed to come back another day.
They must come across this a lot with the elderly and dementia patients so I’m pretty sure most would be really understanding
The other tip was we chose someone who lived local and had done for years so they where able to talk about the good old days in the village so it settled mum very quickly
Try asking on Facebook if you can for recommendations
Locked. Usual reasons