Hi All,

My lovely counsellor told be about carers uk, a bit about my situation. I started looking after my dad end of 2018 when he had a stroke and at the same time we found out about my mum who had terminal cancer who I cared for until she passed in January 2019. My dad had a heart attack in Dev 2019 then sepsis few months ago. Been struggling with guilt that if I try to do something for me I start to feel guilty that I should be at home with dad as I’m the only person he really see’s.

Thanks for reading

Hi Jill,

Welcome to the forum.

Replace “guilt” with “sad”, because you haven’t caused any of his current problems!

Are you living with your parents?
Is dad getting Attendance Allowance?

Dad should have someone else other than you to help him.
Have Social Services done a Needs Assessment since mum died?

Hi Jill & welcome

Is OK as a carer to have me time. Otherwise fatigue and sometimes resentment. Can home along and tap you on the shoulder. Everyone one as a right to recharge their batteries. You are at your most helpful when …

You don’t feel tired and stressful. Resentful and possible undervalued. Also caring is a shared occupation. Yes, you are doing a job. And you need extra tools for it. And you sound like you have a good councillor. Who directed you to this forum.

The are plenty of other options for Dad. To have contact with others.

  1. of many options - Befriending services | Combating loneliness | Age UK