Newbie carer

Started catering for my mum who suffers from complex mental health issues…I managed to pretty much rescue her from a safeguarding issue in her own home…my father who was her carer for 20 years is an alcoholic…also abusive,coercive and mentally abusive over the years…Good days and bad days!!! She has not left house for 10 years due to many reasons and lots physical challenges now…she has permenant kidney damage as unchecked utis…she has a permenant catheter now;(
Anyway probably babbled too much… .

Hi Charlotte, welcome to the forum. I’m really concerned for your future.

How old is mum?
Is she claiming any benefits?
Is she now living with you?

Dear Charlotte

Firstly, I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to our forum, I’m not sure if you are aware but we are currently running a series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:

We are also now running a weekly Share and Learn sessions, where we run a series of fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers who share tips and skills on a range of topics - please have a look at the link and see if one grabs your attention.

Do join if you’d like to, we’ve had a lot of new carers join the sessions recently and it’s a great way to meet other carers.
There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

with best wishes

Hi Charlotte,

Welcome to the forum. I’m relatively new aswell. I just wanted to say hello. I’m a Carer for my Wife who is Disabled.
I also work so we have a Domiciliary Care Package in place.
You haven’t had it easy at all . Your Mum has had a rough time in her life. Can I ask is anyone else there to help you with your Mum so your not doing it all ?I would love to hear from you and I will try to support you best I can.
Kind Regards,

Thanks for the replies, to be honast I’ve been so busy I’ve completed forgotten about this until now!
Mum’s only 68.
I’m not worried about my future, all of our futures look bright! I’m happily married with a lovely family and children and am so happy I have my mum back with me, days are up and down but things o have got a lot better recently. She is physically feeling better and getting lots support from doctors and psychiatrist, neds have been tweaked etc, I’m keeping her is with activities and she’s out on 2 stone. We have decided to keep her with us as her forever home and building a loft extension yo accommodate her. I have a sister who is in Bristol who will help out for respite for me a few times a year, things are working out but obvs mental and physical issues will come up!! Thanks for the warm welcome :pray: :hugs: hope everyone’s situations not terribly bad??

Thanks for getting back to us, it’s lovely to hear things are really working out for your family.