Thank you all for the replies and things to look into. I really appreciate it.
Mum has had a hip operation but needs another. Walking is laboured. She was trying with a stick at first, but I helped her get a seated stroller. We went shopping a few weeks back and she’s now tried scooters. Loves them, so that may be next on the cards. Mum had a couple of cancers removed November. She takes many tablets for various ailments too.
Mum is an independent lady. She thought she was going to be looked after by my brother so sold her house and moved with them. Her choice was to sign the property over. Covid years and them getting on with life had her feeling unwanted and lonely. She decided to get help with a housing association and was given a bungalow. She hates it. Too alone, too far away and not what she’s used to. I’m in a HA property too, so I get some of her points re repairs ie we put in for garden steps to be altered and a handrail added September so she is safer putting washing out, it’s still not done! Regarding care or other carers, she doesn’t want any. I guess a fear she’ll be put in a home. I comprised a list yesterday of things she should have ie seat in bathroom to shower. I got to 15!
Mum would like to move to be nearer me. We joined a homefinder site, but even though I’m a little savvy, I find it difficult. There don’t seem to be any properties any way. That would help being closer.
Our relationship is better. We are both very similar. I have become Mother figure in a way. I encourage her to drink water and try to eat something on our daily calls. She’s fussy about meat, so now I am changing tactics by offering to cook her evening meals with her own stuff. Mum is also a bit if a hoarder- overbuys to compensate not having much I her early years. So once we get into the freezer items that may help her. She just says she doesn’t want to bother as she hates it there. To be honest she does have THE tiniest kitchen, compounded by no full use of space due to her many biscuits and cakes taking room!
Please don’t think its all doom and gloom. We have laughter moments via messenger, sometimes even in person. We natter a good hour or more each time. We went to a show and just to see her face light up was amazing and very rewarding. I’ve planned two more nights out Feb and May.
With her Forgetfulness, she mostly remembers after a while. My brother keeps banging on about getting POA so that she doesn’t go against her wishes and she’s put in a home. I don’t know what to do about all of that because I’m just trying to care for her daily, keeping her upbeat, encouraging good habits or doing chores ect. She likes reading and is not keen on others ha. So my suggestion of a coffee morning isn’t going down too well.
Though I am a caring, protective person by nature I am finding it hard. Mostly logistics of travelling and not being near. I knew I was getting run down so the germs are no surprise. I tend to visit one day and try to rest/ watch comedy the next to “ balance “ things.
We both have copd and asthma too.
I guess I need to read more on here. I’d like her to have an assessment if only to try shift her needs being met.
Can I just thank you all again for your inputs. I am hoping this year will be happier and easier, especially for her. Thank you