New member

Hi, I’m glad to be here. I’ve been married over 20 years and finally accepted that my husband is a high functioning Aspergers person which he is finally acknowledging . I won’t go into all the details now but it has affected me immensely. By reading your posts I know others here understand.

I am feeling very alienated and lonely as my close friends and family don’t see that he could have any problems.
He is intelligent and worked hard to say the right things when we are with family and friends. As long as interactions are superficial and not to often, others see him as quirky and charming and can’t imagine what its like being married to him.

I hope to give and receive support and validation from being part of the group.


He is managing to ‘mask’ in public so they are unaware he is wired rather differently in his neurodiverse nature as opposed to neurotypicals.
But people challenge and don’t believe anyway, because they don’t know what it is, they don’t experience it all and the person ‘doesn’t look autistic’ and many adults have developed masking it to get by.

Another forum which could be helpful to you as well is the autism society.
You can search for topics eg spouse of, wife of, husband has…

Click on their website logo for their home page and links to information.

Hello - I can relate to your post. My husband is much older than myself and I am now his carer. He too can mask his personality in public but he is still a vicious controlling old man. He has often said no one would believe me if I confided in people and did his best to isolate me. He still really resents me having any kind of life, although he is often not well enough to go out - he is basically very anti social and just does not like people, although he can be superficially charming when it suits him.

My only advice is to try and carve out some time for YOU. Try to make local friends if you can - easier said than done I know. For me, I joined a Book Club and have been chairing meetings now for 7 years. This was the first step to making new friends. Are you your husband’s carer? Would you consider counselling? You cannot control his actions but you can control your reaction to his actions!