New Member With Questions


I am a 46 year old male carer to my other half.
She has a multitude of disabilities.

I have been looking to join a forum for a while.

There is a personal question I wanted to ask advice on to those in a similar situation.
I wish I had someone to talk to about it hence my search to join a forum.
It’s a bit of a sensitive subject, so where would I post it?
The subject the question covers is intimacy.


Hi Andrew

I care for my wife who had a spinal cord injury. I’m not going to go into details here - it’s probably best dealt with in a members only area where there’s some level of privacy. But her injury happened abou t7 and a half years ago, and while she was in rehab she went on a session about intimacy following a spinal cord injury.

It almost totally concentrated on men with a spinal cord injury, mainly because men are more likely to have a spinal cord injury. The only advice my wife got was “try to relax.”

Made it sound like “lie back and think of England.”

It took a long time but we found ways by trial and error that worked for us. We don’t have a huge sex life or anything, but we still have one.

Best advice I can give is take your time, take it gently, and see what develops.

Hello Andrew

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to our forum, I see other members have responded already to your post. Alongside the support and advice on the forum we are also running several online sessions, which you may already be aware of. We run a weekly Care for a cuppa session on a Monday afternoon, where carers come together to chat, share advice and support each other, the session lasts about an hour and there’s no pressure to share anything you’re not comfortable with. I’ve attached the link for you, please do think about joining us, it would be great to see you there. Online meetups | Carers UK that link will also take you to our Share & Learn sessions which may be of interest to you too.

with best wishes

Hello Andrew, the section that Charles refers to is called Carers’ Health Issues. It is visible to members only. If this is not sufficiently private, ring the helpline on 0808 808 7777, and say you want to discuss something intimate. They can probably arrange a private contact.