New member here

Hi my name is Dan im 38, I care for my partner of nearly 20 years as she suffers from mental health issues and also has recently had stoma surgery. Life has changed alot in the past 12 months and things can be a struggle for me.

We also have a son who is 11, I am so proud of him and give everything i can to being a good dad to him.

I feel so lost in life alot of the time, I have no plans for the future and no real direction, sometimes I feel trapped.

I only have my mum as support, no brothers or sisters, the sad truth is i dont have a freindship group I could turn to ether.

This is probably an awful introduction but just wondered if Im the only one that feels like this


Hi Daniel,
Welcome to the forum. Just a quick reply because on my way to bed.

Nothing awful about your introduction, lots of Carers end up being sidelined with their needs on hold, as caring takes over.
It sounds like your partner and son are lucky to have you, but it is important to look after your needs too. (I’m fully aware how difficult this is, too.)

Does your partner need 24/7 supervision? Can they deal with their own stoma?

Does your son attend a young Carers group?


Hi David, welcome to the forum. Your family has been through a lot recently, now the crisis phase of the stoma being done, there is something of a grieving process that follows. For the next few months, be kind to yourself. If possible, have a family holiday somewhere just to get away from it all. Then each of you can do a wish list, something different, a new class, skill, trip away. Your son is growing up fast, so enjoy these years, they go so quickly.

Hi Dan

Another newbie here!

I’ve only been chatting on here for a couple of days, but the people on here are just awesome!

You can only tell it how it is, so share as much or as little as you want.

Just putting my work hat on momentarily, have you contacted your local council’s carer network/support team, also see if your local hospital trust has a carer champion, and finally please x100 make sure you are getting all the benefits and financial support you are entitled to. Check out Turn2Us or Entitled To to check you aren’t missing out on anything. Ok, work hat removed and shoved in a cupboard :smiley:

Take care

Thanks for the reply’s I’ll take a look at the sites mentioned

Are you connect to a local carers group. These groups usually also offer support to young carers. It might be an outlet where you and your son could attend together. Save worries on child sitters. Such groups offer young carers activities etc. And to be able to meet other young people like themselves.