My lovely grandmother x

Hi guys,

I’ve previously posted in the forum about my nans ongoing forgetfulness and I would just like to explain what has happened to her over the past week. So last Wednesday me and my Nan went up to Tesco’s shopping, had a lovely afternoon out a few forgetfulness and confusion going around but just the norm. Thursday she rang frantic asking why no one was there with her and wondering why I was in work, I explained that I will be calling up there once I had finished work, 18:30 I had a phone call off my cousin who had a phone call off one of her neighbours explaining that she had been found walking up the street in her slippers carrying the cat. My cousin went to get her and to see how this had happened and my Nan has said she wanted to go back to her house (her house she lived in 25 years ago about 10 miles away) when my cousin got her back into the house she because extremely aggressive attacking my cousin, she had to lock all of the doors to keep her inside and eventually my aunty turned up along with myself. We sang out of hours and they advised us to call an ambulance due to her safety, 12:30 am the ambulance took my Nan into the hospital and the next day moved her to a ward, since then my Nan has completely gone down hill pacing back and fourth all night not eating stealing people’s blankets hiding her underwear and completely going back in time to when she was working, they’ve referred a social worker which could take weeks and are going to plan a meeting with myself and the family to see where we go from here, she’s been in hospital a week tomorrow and we’ve still not had an actual diagnosis. I was just wondering if dementia can decline that dramatically over a week. Also they’ve run tests and found no infection it’s just crazy how suddenly someone can take a turn for the worst, she was also extremely mobile with no falls and since she has been in hospital she has had a fall during personal care.

I can’t vouch for that: but your Gran is definitely suffering from Dementia. I could sit here until midnight writing similar tales of my Mothers doings in the last couple of years of her life, all equally baffling.

Make sure that the hospital do a brain scan to see what is going on, before she goes anywhere. This needs investigating.

‘Rapidly progressive dementia’ (RPD) exists, this term is generally used to refer to cases with significant and progressive cognitive impairment that occurs over weeks or months.

Ask for a brain MRI scan for Gran so you know what is going on. This is serious and she may even possibly need support too.

It is incredibly sad to see someone you love and cherish in this situation. My lovely sister in law died earlier this year, we never ever had a cross word, she was kind, and gentle, an amazing cook who spent most of her spare time helping the local Scout group - before she was married she was Akela for a cub pack. Sadly, she spent her last couple of years in a secure nursing home because she would go out and forget where she lived etc.
You know your gran really well, think of the music she enjoyed most, the soap and powder she liked to use etc., maybe her favourite hand cream for Christmas? Anything that gives her pleasure that she can still enjoy.

Thanks so so much for replying guys (I don’t know how to tag anyone) I went in to see my Nan last night and she is completely back to normal again no wandering no saying strange things, she knows everyone who has visited and completely understands everything that is happening to her and it is heartbreaking. She could not stop crying asking when is this illness going to go and what if it comes back and it breaks my heart knowing it isn’t going to go it will come back. As much as this sounds selfish and nasty of me the more confused the better as she didn’t know what was happening to her and in her own world. :frowning:

She has had a mri scan and a ct scan and nothing has come back off it. X

Not selfish at all Lauren, it’s really heart breaking.
All everyone wants is to be back to their “normal self” but sadly life isn’t like that.
It’s difficult to know what to wish for at times.

I’ve never felt sad like it. My Nan is my bestest friend and we’ve always done everything together. She keeps saying I just want to come home and it’s upsetting to know that she might not be able to :frowning: x

Pet66 explained her similar feelings as “premature grief,” when her husband was diagnosed with dementia and she had to watch him gradually decline.

As BB said, help your Grandmother to enjoy the now with favourite activities, treats etc and create even more good memories of shared times.



This is not unusual with dementia sufferers. They’ll have better days and worse days, but it won’t go away.

I’ll give you an illustration from my experience with my mother.

An old friend of hers used to speak with my wife and I about my mother on a regular basis, when she heard about the dementia she arranged to go and stay with her for a weekend.

She arrived on the Saturday and they had a good chinwag etc etc.

Sunday morning she got up first and made tea in the kitchen - my mother the arrived in the kitchen and said "Oh, hello Sylvia, what are you doing here?

Up until that point Sylvia had been wondering what we were talking about as everything had seemed normal the previous day.

I could give lots of examples of the confusion dementia causes.(sadly)
My husband was at middle stage. Had just told me he had been to Scotland. Was actually in a nursing home, with the use of his right arm only. 5mins after, another resident had just been weighed. Staff couldn’t work out kiligrams to stones. Quick as flash he told them and he was correct! Much to everyone’s amassment. Had many a time where I doubted he actually had vascular dementia, then was soon bought back down to reality.
Treasure the good and lucid times, as they help to get through the difficulties…

It is so sad, Lauren, I went through similar episodes with my mum.

Try to enjoy the good times with her because there will be good times in amidst all the heartache. If nan asks about going home, it might be worth asking her what she likes best about her home, or what she remembers doing there. When my mum mentioned going home, it was to her childhood home that she remembered. Even if your nan cannot go home, you can do much to make her new home as comfortable as possible for her with familiar things around her.

If you have any questions or want to chat, we are here for you.

Anne x

Use a notebook to make notes or buy a camera to take photos of her on her good and calm days. You will be grateful later on.

Hello guys,

2 years on and i’ve just come back to reminisce on the hardest days of my life. Even though thousands of people are going through the same thing you always seem to feel like the only person on the planet with heartache as bad. Last March we lost my lovely grandmother, after spending two months in hospital and being moved to a nursing home she was then kicked out due to behaviour and put back into hospital. Spending hours and hours there and counting the amazing hours I got to spend with her she then fell ill and the doctors didn’t think there was anything wrong except for her amazing bright 1-1 nurse who knew something wasn’t right with her. He begged for a scan and they then found a burst in her intestines, this was the end of feb 2020 on friday 7th they wanted her to undergo an opp which was 50% chance of survival or bed bound. they refused to do this and brought in pale rice care team. i remember thinking WHAT as my nan stuffed her face with a jam doughnut. She fell asleep friday evening after telling me she loved me and i said jt back, she then passed away with me beside her through everything on march 10th. just before covid, no more dementia. She was lucky​:heart: and i’m the luckiest person to have spent my life with her when no one else cared. Love you nan sleep tight :heart: just wanted everyone to know the outcome. This forum got me through the hardest times in my life, thank you all xxxxxx

Hi Lauren, feel proud of the support you gave nan. Sometimes it’s difficult to know what to wish for. Clearly she enjoyed that doughnut!