I’m just trying to get people’s views on this please.
My Mum is 85, lives alone about 6 miles away from my home. Is otherwise healthy, but has been exhibiting signs of early dementia for at least a year (terrible short term memory problems). She is in TOTAL Denial about this, makes excuses about being ‘busy’, and refuses to see a doctor. She had a fall & broke her hip 4 years ago and Mobility has declined since then , but she gets about to local shops & in normal times, clubs & visits to friends.
I am the only local family member.
Since this COVID 19 situation began, Mum has been terribly confused about the situation. She cannot seem to get to grips with what has happened,what we are being told to do (lockdown) and why. Every day she cries to me on the phone that she’s lonely & bored, that she wants to get out & see her friends (she HAS been out to see them). We live near the sea & she has even tried going to the beach with a friend! She insists that I must visit her, making me feel guilty and cruel if I try to refuse. Last Friday was her birthday and she cried & made me feel so mean that I relented & brought her to my house & gave her a cream tea & we watched Downton Abbey which she loved.
Since then she’s been asking me every day “what are we doing at Easter?”. I’ve told her, nothing, we are not allowed to go out, she is supposed to stay at home, she should not see friends, there is nowhere open etc etc. Then she cries and says “but everyone else is seeing their family. You are so cruel to me. I might as well kill myself then”. I ask her if she understands what the government has said, and she laughs and says “yes but it doesn’t seem real, it’s like a fairytale, nothing like this has happened before”.
What on earth should I do? I’ve agreed to pay her a short visit over the weekend. I wash my hands/sanitizer etc, I don’t hug her. I will not bring her to my house again. But my partner (who is still working as he’s a heating engineer but has mild asthma) thinks that I should be refusing to spend time with her. If I did that, she’d make my life a misery, with continuous phone calls & weeping. How should I deal with this.
You put your answerphone on. Believe me, it really helps, then you an listen to the calls and decide if you need to do anything. We are ALL fed up already with this virus etc. but we need to do what the government says.