Well I think its time to help my wife to die, she as asked me three times now to help her to die, all the help seems to have just stopped. I had to call the district nurses out this morning only to be told she as been discharged off there system. So had to phone the GP’s to get a urgent referral for a district nurse to come out. So may be its time to help her, I just don’t know.
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Is your wife terminally ill?
If so the GP should be arranging Fast Track NHS Continuing Care, which should be provided within 48 hours.
If you can, tell us a bit more about your situation, your wife’s age, condition etc. You will find lots of support here.
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Unknown at the moment if she is terminally, we are waiting for a colonoscopy to see if there is any cancer in the colon or bowel. She as lost 2stone in weight over the last 2 months and now weights 55 kg. She is 72 years old. but the main problems she has are trapped nerves in here back which give her constant pain and the pain
clinic, at the hospital have refused to treat with steroid injections. She also has a faulty heart valve which is been treaded with beta blockers. She near enough lives constantly in a hospital bed.
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No words… just 
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Hi @DIYHero welcome to the forum.
It is truly horrendous when we feel powerless to help someone we love who is in terrible pain.
You have done the right thing contacting the GP for an urgent district nurse call.
Does your GP do home visits? It really sounds like he needs to be doing one.
If the pain clinic have refused her a steroid injection then what pain relief are they offering? And are they aware that whatever she has isn’t managing her pain?
Does she have a consultant regarding her back problems and are they aware of how much she is suffering?
I’m asking these questions because it’s hard to think rationally when in severe pain and I’m thinking how terrible it would be for you to help her to end her life, when really what she wants is the pain to stop and with manageable pain wouldn’t be asking for this.
If, she has got cancer then a hospice would help you both. They are the experts at managing pain and enabling people to have a better death. They also offer great support to families. However, you aren’t there yet and you don’t know this is the case so focus on what you do know and that your wife is in a lot of pain and she is probably very frightened as are you.
Push for the help she needs right now. It may also help her to talk to the Samaritans.
Keep talking to us because we are here for you.
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Cyber hugs from me. I can understand how hard it is for you to see her in pain and if she is ‘end of life’ then frankly she needs hospice care. But no, you cannot help her as you risk prosecution as it is illegal. Please speak to your GP as you sound at breaking point.
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@DIYHero it sounds like you are in a desperate situation, seeing someone you love in pain. I think the advice on getting the pain managed seems to be the best option as you cannot make rational decisions when in pain, or watching someone in pain.
As the law stands you cannot help her to die, it would be homicide. Even with the proposed changes in the law if your wife is not terminal then it would remain illegal.
You probably feel alone and confused by it all. You need support and the advice from others here will help guide you to getting that help.
Sending hugs for the awful situation you find yourself in,
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If she is mainly confined to a hospital bed, I’d find out if the local hospice could help in some way. Maybe initially talking to them yourself?
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@DIYHero…please do not give up hope. My mum has recently been diagnosed with anal cancer and she’s 86. They are going to treat it with radiotherapy so there is hope. I’m glad you’ve reached out to this forum, you’ll find this a great space if you need to talk.
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The GP as been great, she as done home visits and she has had the practice nurse come to the house to take samples. The GP also referred her to a physio bone and joint assessment, who both came to the same conclusion that she needed the steroid injections. She had the injection about 2 years ago and after a month she was back to normal.
Pain relief is a combination of oral morph, tramadol, diazepam, plus paracetamol.
She’s under the nuro for the back and he sent her to the pain clinic.
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That’s great re the GP.
Who gave her the steroid injection last time? Was that before she was diagnosed with her heart condition?
She is on a hefty combination of pain meds. They must make her feel ‘spaced out’.
Is it worth challenging the pain clinic, tell them the quality of life the injection would give outweighs the risks especially?
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No words that haven’t been said , just hugs to you both
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Hi,
The steroids were given by the same doctors who have refused this time.
The pain killers only dull the pain and she’s not spaced out on them, infect they want to increase the dosages.
We have complained to pals which was near enough useless.
A friend of mine with dreadful joint pain used calls them ‘pain dullers’
The only thing I can think of is getting a second opinion.
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