Hello all .
Im new here and as the title indicates i am experiencing care giver burnout. I live with my dad who has vascular dementia dianosed April 2025, he previosuly had a vacular parkinsonism diagnosis in 2018. His health is going down badly thus last few months, the change is awful. His mobiltiy has been the worst its been this morning. Sometimes has periods of confusion and being mixed up, cant seem to answer phone anymore etc, bad temper and snappy. He has taken silly risks and falls which as you can imagine has made me amgry that he takes these silly risks.
Anyway, it has become so bad now i cant leave. I get some support from a sibling who diesnt live with me once a week for a few hours so i can get out for shopping etc. Thing is its not enough, amd my mental health is really taking a bad decline because of everything. I feel social services, district nurse have been very little help. There is home help twice a day, but he tends to hold back personal care that they could do and leave it for me to deal with or asks for bed right before the carers are due to come and do it! When i ask him to wait for the carers he simply wont and tomes has started removing clothes in the sitting room!
The Occupational Therapist wouldnt put a stairlift in so we had to do it privately and now im told home helpers cant touch it because it was installed privately! Is that true? He still has capacoty to make decisions etc but bad mobility, surely if its under a warranty guarantee it shoild be ok for carers to use it. Can someone advise me on this please and if possible attach the relevent link proving this.
Also social services havent been that helpful. At original carers assessment back in late March (things are so much worse now!) She talked about âday time opportunitiesâ only to find out recently its through direct payments scheme and because of the dementia it cant be paid to dad so a power of attorney has to be set up.. how i dont know, dads gp wont do a letter to say he still has mental capacity, so social serives talked about doing it another way.. whay annoys me about this is theyve know about the dementia since April and only choose now to tell me!! That was support i was looking forward to. He started day care centre last week and after it, even though it seemed like he had great day he wont go back. He told some people was a good day, and keeps making different excuses for not going, you just know he doesnt want to go and even though his siblings have been telling him to go give me a break he wont!
Its badly effecting my mood getting me down badly. I already have mental health problems and its destroying me. Does anyone know what support i should be getting from social worker?
I went to the office on Wednesday as dads social worker works Wednesday to friday. I told recpetionist i needed to speak with her, that ues refusing day care and its fetting to point i cant handle him anymore. No call back! Im thinking of going into that office on Monday and tell them unless they provide meaningful support or a clear chart to meaningful support by Friday im withdrawing my care. What will likely happen in this event?
Also in last meeting, social workers manager came and told me legally they arent responsible for dad.. but i checked the legislation and im not legally obligated to look after him and as hes vumerable it is their responsibility. The manager also told us eveb though i didnt ask, that they would never allow recordings of appointments, even though i see inactually can request it if im party to the conversation!!
I feel bad doing this. There is other siblings that want nothing to do with it and i feel like im sinking quickly!