I don’t even know where to start, I don’t think I can cope much longer, just typing this is making me cry, . I’m usually very resilient. Ok deep breath.
My Dad has recently gone to live in a care home, due to dementia, which he has had for 8 years, but last year he deteriorated so quickly, it was dreadful. Within 4 weeks he went from being able to live in the family home to not knowing who anyone was or where he was…
So my Mother is now living on her own, which is dreadful for her, she has some physical disabilities, but drives an adapted car and plays bridge weekly at the local club, so cognitively she is great.
Over the last few years as my dad slowly declined, my husband and I have spent more time at my parents. Oh they live an hours drive from me and I work full time.
Since Dad moved, I’ve been going over at least once a week, trying to get finances ect sorted out and support my Mum. I’ve phoned her at least once a day and rallied the neighbours to keep an eye on her.
This is the hard part, which only my husband knows about, my Mum battered me as a child and teenager, I had that many black eyes, my nickname at school was pander. God this is so hard.
I left home as soon as I could due to the situation, so I don’t have the easiest relationship with my Mum.
I really do understand how difficult it is for her to have, 'lost my Dad to dementia '. But she’s being vile to me, screaming at me, throwing things at me, telling he how bad I am, I don’t go over enough, I don’t do enough…
We are a very small family and my sister dies 17 years ago, my Mum said to me this week, the wrong daughter died.
I just don’t know what to do, I’m all she has, and she’s my Mum. I can’t just abandon her, but I can’t take the abuse much more.