Does anyone have any advice for this? Dad was admitted to hospital last year for dehydration late last year, it caused his blood pressure to drop and his left arm swelled up and resulted in him being in hospital for 3 weeks.
Now he is in a care home and despite the care home having regular times during the day that they bring drinks to all residents and encourage them to drink, Dad is still not drinking enough and yesterday ended up in hospital yet again, this time he was put on a drip and discharged later in the day. Note: the drinks the home provides are varied - juice, squash etc in different flavours, so residents donât get bored with the same old things.
He says he doesnât want to drink because it makes him keep urinating. He even refused when the hospital Doctor told him to drink more (and he usually co-operates with anything a medically qualified person says) plus he wears incontinence pants and refuses to wee in those, so holds it back and now has a water infection too.
My sister suggested some hydration sweets which are used for persons with Dementia (Dad does not have dementia) but we concluded that Dad will probably refuse those as he is diabetic and refuses anything that might have sugar or appear to have sugar in it.
I have spent many hours in hospital cubicles particularly in the last few months (sometimes all night) and I refuse to spend any more time in them because of a stubborn old man who refuses to drink! I am going to tell the home today that if there are any more issues with this, they neednât bother phoning me to tell me Dad is in hospital, they will have to send a member of their staff with him to hospital because I wonât be going!
Apart from using threats and blackmail I really donât know what else to do!
Very common for the elderly not want to drink for fear of needing the toilet more often, I had this problem with my mother. To get more fluid in her I tried juicy fruits ie watermelon, grapes etc, Jelly and food make with milk.
As your father is in a care home who should be well aware of this common problem they should have lots of ideas on how to deal with it. Its up to them to sort this out and to attend him should he need to go to hospital, I know from experience though they send their residents to hospital without staff members accompanying them!
Thanks for your reply and suggestions . Dad does eat fruit and always asks for his apples and satsumas which I bring to the home and leave there and when I visit, he eats them all up, but as I do not visit every day (I have my own health conditions to take care of and my own home and life to take care as well), he says when I visit that âI havenât had my apples and sats for 2 daysâ so it appears although the home did give him different fruit the other day, that may not be a regular occurrence.
I canât imagine the home Dad is in will have the staff to spare to go to hospital as they are busy enough already! Dad would not be happy or able to cope on his own in hospital as he has hearing loss and wonât get an aid.
He hated being stuck in a cubicle for hours and having the canular taken out yesterday in hospital, so I can always tell him there will be more of that if he doesnât drink!
I will try taking him some new and different fruit to see if he eats it. Maybe the âcarrot and stickâ approach might work!
The home MUST manage this. Iâm sure there is nothing in their contract that says otherwise.
If you were not around they would have to deal with it!
Ultimately, if he doesnât drink enough it will kill him. Maybe put it as bluntly as that?
@Den54
I wonder if the single cartons of ribena or similar would encourage your dad. May not look as daunting?
As for staff not going to hospital with him⌠Agency staff are contacted to cover. They have too if a member of staff goes sick
Yes I realize that, the problem is (as it is with so many things these days) understaffing!
I notice a lot of that these days, not just with the care home but with hospital staff too, your visiting takes the pressure off them and they are more than happy to let you do it too!
Itâs not the best care home, but itâs where they put him temporarily and all he can afford , but yes I will put it to them like that. I am sure they wonât be wanting an enquiry into his deathâŚ
Maybe a pack of those little kids cartons would be good? Thanks for the suggestion!
I can honestly say I have never seen anything other than the regular staff there, even when there were numerous staff off sick with a virus before Christmas!
Hi @Den54, mum had the same issue at one point and I got one of those containers with a tap one and she can drink as much as she can but apart from refill it you also got to one that he doesnât drink to much as that can cause more issues than 2 little.
My mum often often claims that she isnât thirsty or doesnât want to eat when I ask her (Iâm her live in carer), but the 2 carers that come in three times a day can seem to manage it.
This tactic doesnât always work with me, but it does sometimes.
Iâve got you a drink mum.
âIâm not thirstyâ
Just have a sip then.
(If she just has a sip then Iâm halfway there). She often will have a few sips, but wonât always drink the whole drink.
I do sometimes think that our elderly parents âplay upâ because they think they can âget away with itâ because we are their children/family.
I have seen this recently with Dad, yet they can be compliant with carers/nurses who then cannot understand what we, the family member, are doing wrong!
@Den54 I hear you, it can be so frustrating.
Lots of reasons that everyoneâs already shared and youâve said⌠my dad hating peeing in the pads and going back and forth all the time to the toilet.
Even if your Dadâs not got dementia his notion of time and doing things may be off - I mean if thereâs someone prompting him he may âthink aboutâ actually doing itâŚbut thereâs a fine balance of reminding and being interpreted by your dad as ânaggingâ. My Dad hated being ânaggedâ
I used a water bottle to show Dad how much heâd drunk, and tried to ask him to get down to the next indentation on the bottle⌠sometimes he did often notâŚ
I know youâre looking for tips and solutions, but can I offer that I think youâre doing the most you possibly can. Heâs in a home where theyâre there to care for him. I think your idea of giving them instructions is a good one.
You canât prevent or pre-empt everything. From what youâve shared camping out in cubicles (- yep Iâve done that too) youâre dong your absolute best AND more!
Take care, I hope your Dadâs symptoms resolve
I have same problem with my 92 year old mother. Make sure what he is drinking he likes (my mum only drinks Lemon and Lime Juice) and put it in a bottle to monitor how much he is drinking. My mother always imagines that she is drink more than she actually is, she is full aware and her mind is as sharp as a pin, but still thinks she is drinking more than she is. Sometimes I put her on a timer on my phone when I am with her and she drinks when the timer goes off every 10-15 minutes that helps her to get through a bottle of juice in an hour. Just how I do it . Take care.
I have the opposite problem with my mum, she literally drinks tea continuously, I am always saying she should have it in an IV drip. As it is a diuretic, she is constantly going to the loo, but continence is ok at the moment. The worry is it makes her hyper and increases her heart rate. I tried without fail to replace it with caffeine free or fruit tea, but no luck. I reckon she has more than 20 cups a day, but not sure it helps with hydration. A cup of tea is her answer to everything.
Hi Den, the one saving grace of her late stage dementia is Mum no longer self-monitors and restricts her liquid intake so dehydration is no longer an issue. Prior to this, I would swap morning toast for cereal and milk, a lunch time sandwich was replaced with soup - my Mum is slight but perhaps your Dad could cope with both. So definitely have a word with the care home about Dadâs menu and get them to feed him foods that provide the most liquid in addition to any drinks they provide. I did try the jelly drops but Mum would just spit them out. They are also an expensive option in a care home setting where everything becomes communal.
Iâd also double check the drinks provided for your father. Although I look after Mum at home, she has spent 2 weeks in a care home (post dementia) and despite her beverage of choice being unsweetened coffee, when I tasted the drinks she wasnât drinking, it was usually very sweet tea.
. Dad does eat fruit and always asks for his apples and satsumas which I bring to the home and leave there and when I visit, he eats them all up, but as I do not visit every day (I have my own health conditions to take care of and my own home and life to take care as well), he says when I visit that âI havenât had my apples and sats for 2 daysâ so it appears although the home did give him different fruit the other day, that may not be a regular occurrence.
, but yes I will put it to them like that. I am sure they wonât be wanting an enquiry into his deathâŚ