A close friend in Australia has written to say she has an aggressive cancer and not long left.
I’m devastated of course, struggling to find the right words.
Can anyone recommend a book, or website to help?
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@bowlingbun ,so sorry to hear this. I would google and look at the images as there few good ones. put in grieving friend the right words, hopeful you will find something.
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@bowlingbun….so sorry to hear this.
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@bowlingbun I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s prognosis. It’s really difficult to know what to say at times like these and the nature of the relationship with the person who is dying and everyone’s experience will be different.
I don’t know if you talk on the phone or do video calls with your friend, obviously these are easy ways to keep in more immediate contact.
The most important thing is that your friend knows you are there for them. Listen to her if she needs to offload. Talk if that’s what she wants to do. Just knowing that her close friend is there for her with compassion and love, will mean more than any ‘right words’.
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@bowlingbun Really sorry to hear this. I have to agree with @EEG just knowing that she has a friend who is there for her and cares is hopefully a comfort? I honestly do not think there are any ‘right’ words. But so often friends avoid the dying person as they are worried about saying the ‘wrong’ thing and this leaves them feeling abandoned and isolated.
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@bowlingbun What you’re going through is perfectly normal - we all worry about finding the right words. Your friend knows you well, and knows your way of talking. Don’t change a thing - it’s what she needs.
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@bowlingbun
I’m so sorry to hear this.
You are a very good listener so I’m sure if you ask if she wants to talk about her illness she will at least know you are there for her. If she doesn’t,perhaps talk of the lovely times you had and how much her friendship has been to you.
Marie Curie may offer advice online.
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Thanks Pet, five Scouters drove a Land Rover to Australia in 1969. One would later be my husband, another became our best man. Another became my friend’s husband, and we all called her mum “Mum”. (Years later she stayed with us. M went to school and told his teacher “Mum lives in Australia”, so I explained we had 3 mums, my mum, husband’s mum, and friend’s mum!). Our Christmas cards were always addressed to/from our “Aussie mum”. When we lived in the mining town 1,000 miles north of Perth, where we all lived, we’d all go out in our car for day trips. Happy days.
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I’ve just had a look at the Marie Curie pages, they have a special section, just what I needed. Thanks.
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@bowlingbun
Pleased it proved to be useful.
Hope you settle tonight
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