Finding it difficult not to get involved with paid carers

I am finding it difficult handing over to the paid Carers when they are here. Does anyone else find this?
I have just cut the middle of the day Carers from 2 to 1 as I found I was doing half the job myself.
My husband has had strokes and has some cognitive issues and cannot stand or walk unaided.
He is either in a wheeled commode, riser recliner or transferred using a Sara Stedy. I am 82 years old and my husband 79.

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I think most of us have problems stepping back.

Asking for help - even when we know we need it - goes against the grain, because we feel responsible. Especially if we have doubts about the quality of the care. Carly Simon sang “Nobody Does it Better” - about a spy who couldn’t keep it in his trousers, admittedly - but most of the carers I’ve known, me included, feel that way. For a while, it was my job to ask: “But what if…?”, to encourage carers to let go a bit and take the break that others taking over part of their role offers.

But it is so difficult, especially when you take the “in sickness and in health” mantra on board. So all I can do is suggest you try to think of it this way: “I’m responsible for x’s care. But that doesn’t mean I have to do it all.” Just as parents are wholly responsible for their children’s education. For part of that, they send their kids to school. They absolutely are not expected to do it all. And we shouldn’t expect it of ourselves, really.

Hi & Welcome Aileen

In sickness and in health rings a bell. This is a running theme with some more mature carers. For younger carers these days armed with knowledge and information seem more able to except help. You know your husband best and what his best interests adhered too. Which is admiral but if you become unwell you will need more carers. The point of carers is to alleviate the load.

I always think it’s better if you are able to leave the room and find something else to do. Obviously, this works better for some if the caree is able to articulate for themselves. You seemed to be more concerned over the transfers. Has something happened that makes you feel nervous and/or concerned. If things aren’t implemented as you think care agencies should/will listen and retrain carers. Has you husband recently seen an O/T to see if anything more can be offered. You are doing a grand job but you do need assistance.