Feeling desperate and helpless


My father requires permanent care following a major stroke in 2017. He had two minor strokes at the end of November this year. While he was wobbly on his feet we were hopeful we would get him back on track. He got pneumonia and was bed bound for various days. He lost so much weight, is bound to the wheelchair now and is refusing to get up and it feels like he is letting go of life. I am so scared and feel really helpless. Any encouragement or advice would be helpful and appreciated.

Many thanks,

Hi Ljuba.

Welcome to an extremely quiet forum and a difficult time of the year for far too many in the Carer Army.

Just one though from me … has CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare been considered as a possible option ?

Main thread : https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support-and-advice/all-about-caring/chc-coughlan-grogan-judgements-nhs-contuing-healthcare-nhs-fnc-hospital-discharges-all-under-this-one-thread-35998

Short of that , a reply to a posting I made yesterday contains several links to AGE UK regarding all aspects of caring / nursing homes :


Options worth exploring ?
( I have assumed that outside care support is in place , and a NEEDS assessment upto date ? )

Others will be along to add their insights.

Hi Chris

First of all, thank you for your time to respond to my plea. My situation is a bit different as my father doesn’t live in the UK. My mother is the main carer so I have to support from the far. I am home for Christmas and I am just shocked of the state of my father. It looks like that he has given up on life and I am really having mental health issues and feeling sorry for my family.


Your welcome.

Social care in a foreign country ?

Only by an Internet search will you be able to find out what options are available locally.

( On one occasion , I did try to delve into the Polish social care system for a neighbour who was returning … not for the faint hearted … almost
a different language … even after using Google translator !

Even to follow one lead , one has to know how that System works in order to start the search in the first place ! )

One thought … Internet search … assume Polish … POLISH UK FORUMS … might be something of assistance ?

Even add EXILES LIVING IN THE between POLISH and UK ?

Welcome to the forum.

How old is dad? where does he live?
Who owns the house? Who else is in the household?
Have Social Services done a Needs Assessment?