“not entitled to financial help” - Was this from Social Services, or DWP?
Needs / Carer Assessments from one’s local LA ?
Getting a social care needs assessment - NHS
Carer's Assessment - Advice and help for Carers | Age UK
DWP … all benefits / allowances being claimed ?
An online benefits calculator for precisely that purpose :
AGE UK … on their radar ?
Age UK | The UK's leading charity helping every older person who needs us
Help IS available out there … trouble is , it won’t come to you.
Social Services/Adult Social Care did the assessment.
The woman who did it told us we should sell the car as we ‘didn’t need a car’ How would I get my husband to the Doctors? or do the shopping which I am unable to carry on the bus.
This woman also told us we didn’t need ‘funeral plans’ Our final payment on these is this September and it will have saved us ( and our daughter) a great deal of money!
It leaves us feeling that we don’t really matter at all except for them to take money from us.
Why it’s called Adult Social ‘Care’ is puzzling. Shouldn’t say Adult Social Money Making?! Sorry if I sound cynical.
We live in Sheltered Housing, owned and run by Southern Housing Group. We all feel that their motto should be ‘You MAY be right, but we are NEVER wrong!’ 
Thanks for posting that , Amble.
In a macabre sort of way , I’m pleased … shows up what the " Books " say when compared with the actual reality
of life / survival in CarerLand.
My caring days are long gone … no direct experience with LAs and SSs for a decade … others will no doubt add
their comments.
AGE UK … don’t lose track of them , one of the better resources we have out there.
Thank-you 
Ask for a written copy of the last “sell your car” assessment, only don’t refer to it like that. Just ask for a written copy. Then you can make a formal complaint to the LA HQ… It’s the only way.
Hey Amble - I totally relate to how you are feeling. I have been a carer for my Mum and Dad and really feel that social services couldn’t care less when we have asked for help. When I first contacted them I had no idea of where to turn and what help Mum and Dad might need, but we were totally dismissed. And I felt totally in the dark about what I should do. It was through this website and other charities that we finally accessed help.
Do you get Attendance Allowance for your husband (you may also be entitled yourself)?
Age Uk were brilliant at helping us work out what benefits/help we could get for Mum and Dad. If you haven’t already see if you have a local branch. They sent someone out to my Mum’s house to talk it all through. x
Thank-you all for your support.
Yes, it is thanks to Age UK that we both now receive Attendance Allowance. This has been a huge help.
It means I can pay for an hour a week help with cleaning and with ironing as my back is getting so bad now.
Once again
Thank-you all so much.
Your welcome.
Fortunately for me when I feel exhausted and think I’ve reached my limit it usually turns out to be the harbinger of a cold or flu or something which passes after a week or two. Doesn’t stop me feeling bad before I realise what’s going on. At least now a sore throat comes as a relief not a nasty surprise. I don’t remember this advance warning of what was coming when I was younger. I guess none of us are getting any younger, carers or not.
I’m looking forward to being one of the first customers of cashare, an uber type laundry service that’s been advertising heavily for staff in the last couple of weeks. Haven’t quite found someone to take away the laundry do it for me and bring it back before. Either they want you to deliver it or they want to do it in your home, neither of which works for me and I don’t have the time or inclination to research further but seeing the exact service I want advertised on tv is perfect. I just hope plenty of people want to be launderers in my area.
Not sure I like the way society’s reverting to people having to take in washing to survive though and what’s the real difference between the Trussell Trust and 1920s soup kitchens?
Our Social Services told us we didn’t need a financial adviser. The financial adviser we saw told us all the things that can be excluded from a financial assessment, like taxis to and from care homes as I don’t drive. Don’t ever believe anyone tells you you don’t need a financial adviser. Also they’re not entitled to do a financial assessment of the caree until chc have made a decision and possibly even until chc’s appeals process has been exhausted. Perhaps we should be able to impose sanctions on social services, maybe even the individuals at the coal face like with data protection.
Oh thank goodness for you people, and this forum. It’s so helpful, not just because I need to let off steam today, but also reading all your posts. For example I have felt inundated / buried in laundry and it’s good to hear someone else’s solution. It gives me ideas. It’s been so important to me recently to find people to help me with things, but I know I need to do more of it. Also I agree Age UK brilliant, especially with helping get attendance allowance. I can’t remember where I got this from, but also very useful to find out that people with dementia diagnosis don’t pay any council tax, you just apply to the local council.
Today I need to let off steam because …
I took my partner with MS out for the day as it was his birthday, and mine soon. We had a great day, but I came home to a lot to do and exhausted. Then woke up very tired, and realising it can feel very stressful running 3 households and working part time. Even if I do now have help in all three now - my own, my partner and my place together, and my dad’s, still all the helpers need help, timetables, complicated arrangements sometimes etc etc and still a lot to do, so I go to bed too late, vicious cycle of tiredness. A lot of lovely things happening, like my dad enjoying new club I’ve arranged for him to go to, but just too many things. Just that one thing for example still takes a lot of organising. Sometimes doing it all is more exhilarating, I think another of you is right, this might be an early warning that I am going down with a bug, and/or just need more sleep/rest somehow…
“Buried in laundry”?
What capacity is your machine. I’ve recently upgraded to a larger drum, 10kg I think, as I like to wash my own duvets (otherwise £20 a time at the cleaners). So I can justify the initial expense. Mines actually a washer dryer, Philips, under £600 from AO, I don’t use the drying facility much, as I have a super economical tumble dryer too. Being able to put everything in at once, with a Colour Catcher, saves me so much time. Every minute counts. Your carees should be getting their carers to do their washing.
I thought about getting a bigger capacity machine when mine died but the extra capacity meant longer wash cycles so I went for one only a little bigger than my last one but a much bigger capacity dryer so I can dry a whole load of washing in one go. The new one only takes slightly more weight but it has a much bigger volume so duvets fit in that too. I used to use my old duvets for dogs rather than get them cleaned. A new duvet costs about the same as getting one cleaned.
I can recommend AO too.