LJ, Ultimately we are all responsible for our own happiness.
We cannot control the behaviour of others but we CAN control ourselves.
So mum might never be able to change, she might choose to wallow in unhappiness.
On the other hand you CAN change your own behaviour.
You can stop being mum’s whipping boy, she is constantly taking her own unhappiness out on you.
You already recognise that this is making you unhappy.
Now the choice is yours.
You have two choices.
Either you stay, or you leave.
It’s time for you to TELL mum this.
If she wants you to stay, then you have to lay out the terms.
You are not her little boy to boss around as she chooses.
You are a grown man.