Don’t know where to begin

Hi guys,

New to here, have read through a bunch of the posts on here and you guys are all very helpful and supportive. I was hoping you might have a moment to help with my own situation.

Unfortunately my dad is terminally Ill with cancer (leukaemia) and was diagnosed early November with having only a couple of months to live. At the time he was cognitive and between him and my mother they decided to avail of hospice care for end of life.

Roughly about a week in he decided that he didn’t like it there and wanted to come home so has been at home for about 1.5 months with all the kit we could get hold of. Hospital bed, commode the works.

While very difficult we’ve managed to cope here between me and mum and the occasional nurse visit. He has now developed sepsis and has very regular instances of delirium. Earlier today he tried to walk out of the front door unaided with stroller saying he needed to take the car for an MOT. Whereas other times he can’t roll and has to be turned in bed, it’s like Lazarus at times it’s bizarre.

Problem we have though is the hospice won’t take him back because his decision is to refuse it. But he’s at the point now where we have to watch him 24/7, my mother is physically incapable of lifting him so most tasks fall to me when there aren’t carers here.

I’ve had to give up work temporarily as a result to manage and the impact of round the clock help is hurting my mother too. At what point can he be considered incapable of making his own decision if a POA isn’t in place? We obviously have to respect his wishes on one hand until the time comes but we can’t manage on our own for much longer and I don’t know what I can do to help the situation. Neither me and mum are sleeping at fear he might do something daft and hurt himself but we can’t exactly commit him either.

Any tips about what I should consider first would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading

Balls :slight_smile:

Welcome to the forum.

Ring the GP and ask him to arrange “Fast Track NHS Continuing Healthcare” TODAY.

All the care dad needs can be provided either at home, hospice, or nursing home, free of charge, must be arranged within 48 hours.
Has the GP written an “End of Life” plan"???

If you Google the term in inverted comments, you should find all the details.
(I’m making marmalade today, so no time for links I’m afraid).

Your dad still isn’t completely fine and I’ll talk it over with the healthcare team again because I’ve ENOUGHLY went through HELL AND BACK without any measures. io games