All I can offer you is a “virtual” hug right now, as well as an ear should you need to sound-off or moan or just need someone to scream at.
Having got into a bit of a hole a few months ago it was only down to a REALLY good friend spotted my problem and immediately rushed over so I could go out for two hours without ‘caring’, that I got through that day. I understand how essential that help can be even though I do (like so many of us) force myself to struggle on - solo.
Use this place to off-load when you need to and hopefully, you can throw off some of the pressure, at least for a little while.
My daughter and I were out shopping today. It was pouring and we went to shelter inside a kind of community shop. a woman asked us would we like to go for a free lunch. It was at a church down the road. I said “oh no give the tickets to someone who really needs them, we are OK”. She insisted so we went. We had a choice of homemade veggie soup or leek and potato with croutons. There were bags of posh crisps on the tables, sandwiches galore then a choice of 3 hot puddings with custard. Then tea or coffee with chocolates! There was a MIND stall in there with info leaflets and no pressure to join the church. There must have been 50 people there and all sorts of people. On our table was an elderly Italian lady, a lady who recognised my daughter, a lady who had bad anxiety and a lady new to town who was lonely while her son was at school and a married couple who live nearby and we all interacted as little or as much as we liked. I felt really comfortable there and it was all free.
There are lots of these type of get togethers due to the cost of living crisis and lots of places are opening up as Warm Places with tea, coffee, snacks etc. Most of the libraries round here are offering this.
For people feeling lonely, why not give them a try?
I was out today on a funded adult education course. I enjoyed getting a lift to the college and back. It was fun doing a assignment with other mature learners. There are five of us on this particular course. It helps me to feel much less stressed and more happier as a result of leaving my home in order to learn.
As others have said, it is a natural feeling in your situation and nothing to feel guilty about, you are just being human. If it was the other way around you would be encouraging him to go to the pub a couple of nights or to a quiz night or pool match etc. But it isn’t that way around and maybe he’s feeling bad about your position but at a loss at what to say to you to have some social life or interests.
My mother had chest issues and other conditions, her health was unpredictable, I could not make firm arrangements, they would inevitably be cancelled or postponed due to a flare up or infection.
My mum was put on an inhaler, once a day, with chest medications in it and it stopped her coughing, saved a fortune in tissues and prevented flare ups and many chest infections, Trelegy inhaler, if he is not on it ask the GP about if he could be put on it if it is suitable for him, I’ve heard many people saying how good it is.
I know how you feel & you’re certainly not the only one. I’m afraid I don’t have any answers though. It’s all very well being told to go out & look after yourself but, as I’m sure you know, it’s not so easy to find someone to sit in for you. After my carer’s assessment the council gave me free leisure centre membership. I was thrilled until I realised I couldn’t use it as my caree can’t be left home alone! At least this is a place where you can vent & no one will judge you. Try to keep sane! xx
As part of your carer’s assessment they should have realised that and discussed how you would be able to use the membership - and if there was no way, make it so that you could. Otherwise it’s a waste of time.