Just after some more advice please.
My dad is 85 and been in hospital for 6 weeks and currently in temporary care home whilst they assess his needs.
My view is that he needs to be in a carehome fulltime for his own wellbeing and safety.
it has been proposed he could come home with a care package. One of my many worries around this is what I would do if he needs to see the doctor. He is currently with a very poor GP practice. He says he doesn`t want to move.
What I want to know is…is it possible for GPs to do a home visit? Sorry if this is a daft question. I know there is a shortage of doctors so that is why I am asking. Should i insist he move doctors?
If he needed an urgent appt I would struggle to get him into my car. His mobility has really declined in recent weeks. He has various health issues.
Sorry to hear about your dad and I hope you can get him placed in residential care.
My mother is listed as home visits by her surgery, she’s too frail and her conditions make it difficult for her to go to the surgery. I don’t know if there are national or local policies about this.
So she has home visits, we also have telephone appointments, link to send photos and some video calls, our surgery is very progressive and trains GPs. However, we still have to get past the gatekeepers who answer the phones!
There is a massive push for care at home, stating it’s the best place for them to be.
Call me cynical but there is a shortage of care homes and the expense of them could be behind this.
Be very wary about this. Push back for care home. The GP said that my mother qualifies for a nursing home and we declined, he offered to process if required.
What is the care package - how many hours of the day would your father be cared for and how many hours alone/reliant on you? each care call will be half hour, maybe one hour visit to wash and dress, outside of that who looks after him and is he safe?
Unsafe discharge is a good challenge.
Occupational Therapists and physio will lie about physical ability to clear the bed and get them home, we’ve had a few of those the last time I told her she is a liar and I don’t believe her.
They say a care package and they don’t expand on the reality of it, hoodwinking you with this magical gift of care package which is basically a few visits a day, this might only be for a number of weeks post hospital and then you have to go through social services to get continued care or if he has over the threshold of £23k he will have to fund privately. So you need to know exactly what the care is and more importantly what it isn’t.
Recently my mother did her advance care plan (end of life), not that she needs it, and there was a push for it to be at home with the care package, but she insisted she wanted to be in hospital or if warranted she would rather be in the hospice.
Thank you so much Breezey .i am very cynical already and feel I am about to be hoodwinked. It is me who will be dad`s carer so need to know all the facts, Other family members are interfering .
You will need to be strong and stubborn not to be hoodwinked.
If they want to give your dad his care, let them interfere all they like and do his care, if not, they have no right putting it all onto you to do.
I am caring for my mother in her home, it is full time and 24/7, she has deteriorated over the years and her care needs increased.
That is what you have to think about - increasing care needs over time (deterioration).
It sounds like your father qualifies for a nursing home and no other family members have any right to volunteer you to do his care if they are. Seeing a parent go into care isn’t easy, I can appreciate it being very emotional but my mother chose hospital for end of life because she doesn’t want me doing the work of a hospital team on my own and being made ill doing it. That is the crux of it, Your wellbeing and needs count too.
Please keep checking back for replies from others who know more and will have good constructive advice.
Hi Felicity
GPs do offer home visits but rarely: usually for mobility and safety reasons, which would seem to fit your father. It’s also a good idea to make sure they register you as the carer for your father so they know who they need to talk to in terms of caring matters. Better still if your father can give permission for this, but not absolutely essential as long as the GP recognises the situation.
It’s worth enlisting family help with the caring if you can, if only to give you a break, but have notes about your father’s care needs handy so they understand the right way to do things. Saves confusion, mistakes, accidents and unnecessary pain. Hospitals do this sort of thing now for patients with communication problems, so it’s perfectly reasonable.
Otherwise I’m with Breezey - keep control if you can but absolutely get help in as long as it gives you a break and doesn’t mess up routines, care, etc.
Heya. Welcome to the forums. I have to have home visits as well due to my childhood mobility issues. Tell us some more about your disabled family member. Most disabled folk (there are exceptions) are entitled to some sort of daily home care from a reputable local care company in the area additionally. Good luck and make some brief summary notes in addition.
Felicity, please can you clarify if you live in dad’s home, or dad lives in your home?
Does he own or rent the home?
This is one of the key questions here.
Another is how the care home would be funded.
Rather than bombard you with too much information all at once, if you could just answer these issues first, it will help us to help you.
My dad owns his house and does have savings. He lives on his own and i live about 15 minutes away.
Just as Charles said, get listed with your fathers GP as his carer - even if he goes into a home.
Write a simple letter for the GP from your father giving you permission as his carer and chaperone to discuss his conditions, medications and care etc. Did that for my mum.
I really don’t want to say this, it seems so disrespectful but it occurred to me and I can’t not say it, this is your private life and I don’t mean to be picking it over, but a little food for thought for you, having said others are interfering. if others are keen for your father to stay at home and you to do the caring, ask yourself if they would be beneficiaries and if they know that his house would be used to pay for his care, and if you are being hoodwinked into keeping the house out of their hands and protecting their inheritance. You don’t need to answer that, just think about it.
Do you have POA - Power of Attorney?
if you don’t know about it, here’s a quick heads up.
you can do it yourself via the Gov.uk website.
You need to do it while he has mental capacity.
it takes about 6 months to process.
Don’t fill the box that asks if you want to inform anyone because it isn’t necessary and makes it take longer.
There are 2 POAs, Financial and the health and welfare.
They come into play when your father has lost capacity and you act in his best interests.
This means that if or when he goes into a home and he loses capacity, you are involved in his care, decision making and best interests, if you do not have POA then good luck because they can do what they want.
You can use the financial POA to act on his behalf for banking if he is physically unable to go to the bank or incapacitated eg blindness or affected by strokes etc.
Hi everyone
Not sure what has happened but we appear to have been at least partly hacked as there are unsuitable posts on here blocking up the forum. I’m posting here to bring this topic higher up the forum so that the rubbish can be ignored until the techs get to it.
Sorry about this.