Well said @bowlingbun. I’ve not visited the care home for nearly 3 weeks (due to ill physical health and mental health). I feel guilty not going. But as I’ve been told “Don’t visit if your not well”. When it comes to visiting, once a week is the best I can do because I can’t drive and it costs a fair bit of money getting there and back (I live in Wythenshawe, Manchester, she is in a care home in Salford) So, I too feel like I’m been treated like a bad guy from the care home people. I wouldn’t mind, it was the various health authorities who caused this mess. I even ask them to try and keep her somewhat active, especially mentally. All I get is poor manners off the care home doctor (especially when I ask about her medication and treatments) and disdainful looks when I try to help mum with little things (i.e. helping her eat food). So, your right. It’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t.