I did wonder if there’s any way we can insist that the carers continue to go in, but I think I’ll talk to the care manager about this because, yes, he has made it clear he won’t deal with any kind of mess and that’s not about to go away really. Just spoke to my brother and he’s of the opinion the only way we can see mum now is if we go and pick her up and take her out somewhere, but i suppose he’ll get annoyed about that too!
No, you really do need to go and see her at home.Play him at his own game! While the carers are there, it’s his time to get some fresh air. Tell him when you are going and remind him it’s his “time off”. Then he can’t moan that he doesn’t have any!
Remember to record anything nasty he says.
Did you find any of his bank statements?
The only worry I have about that is, when we’ve done this and given him time off is when he’s then disappeared, once for 5 hours and not answering his phone and then this time for three days! So we’re all nervous about doing that now, but I do kinda agree, the best thing all round would be if we go round and he goes out…as long as he comes back! No, i couldn’t find his bank statements when i went looking round. I found mum’s purse and there’s just one bank card which I’m pretty sure is for the joint account.
Finding out how much is in that account is vital.
Can mum remember her Pin number?
Have you alerted the bank?
If he disappears then SSD would need to arrange more care. This is why finding out what she is worth is vital.