No she lives about 25 miles away in Manchester (i live in Cheshire). I keep tabs on visits etc, via a camera and use an alexa to speak to any medical visitors as she gets confused and tells them what she thinks is right in her head (or what she wants them to believe). The care company have given me access to the carer notes, which helps keep tabs on her eating and drinking.
She is 77 next month
Do you manage her money? She should be entitled to Attendance Allowance and EXEMPTION from Council Tax.
Caring at a distance is very difficult.
Sending you much love and support. Weāve all had days like this.
The tears that you cried in front of him have jolted him out of his comfort zone with you. Take advantage of this 'crackā in your relationship to seek change. Moments of courage to change your situation come rarely - donāt let it slip past you.
You donāt have to do anything drastic, but small changes can have a massive impact on your wellbeing.
As someone else suggested, you can encourage your husband to get out more. This would give you some breathing space. Or you can carve out some me-time.
Small steps, love.
@Kazzy65 , I know what your going through, I too just broke down and cried (I donāt do that often). It was around Christmas 2025. Iām use to been lonely, sometimes I enjoy the peace and quiet. But for me, there is peace and quiet and eerie silence. I didnāt feel festive that day. Iām glad to hear you have POA regarding your sister. Iām currently doing something similar via Court of Protection. I havenāt finished to paperwork yet but, Iām getting there albeit slowly. I like yourself am juggling lots of things at the moment. Iām glad you are using this site to vent. I donāt know if youāve done this but, try and find out if you can have respite care for your relative. Canāt hurt to try. 
@bowlingbun She gets Attendance Allowance and is exempt on her council tax.
I also tried for the pension credit and ahe got it, including the top up. We use this to pay for her befriender visit each week
@Pujibob thank you.
It is difficult as he is not very sociable, whereas I am. I have to coax him to go to meet ups with friends / family and once he is there he is OK, it is the initial getting him there.
I am back on track again, it is just a build up over time and then you need to release it with a good scream or cry. I just donāt normally do that infront of my husband!!! Maybe it has made him realise (until the next time)
We did try for respite, but my sister flatly refused to go. As she said this, they said she has capacity and cannot be forced to go.
It drives me nuts sometimes. We have a POA but because she can say yes or no, even if it is not in her best interests, we cannot do anything. That is why she was sent back home after her assessment 3 years ago and ended up with the care package.
You should never feel like you are alone, there are so many of us on this forum (granted we cannot all get on it 24/7) but it is such a help and I guess a lifeline to help us cope with the care issues.
Stay strong, its a long difficult journey, but you donāt have to go through it completely alone
Has she had a Needs Assessment from Social Services? If she is on Pension Credit there is a strong possibility that they would pay for her befriender.
Loneliness is something Iām used too (not that I like it).
The council come round to do an assessment, but never mentioned anything. My sister has to contribute to her monthly care bill, due to her state pension and now the pension credit. It means the attendance allowance doesnāt cover the full cost of the bill now 
Maybe check with our CUK helpliine that theyāve applied the rules properly?
Did they give you sister written information about their calculations? If not, it wasnāt done properly!
My top tip to everyone is āNever trust a social worker when it comes to maths or assessmentsā.
I reclaimed Ā£8,000 from Hampshire when they didnāt do her assessments properly.
(I once turned finances for a small hospital round from worst performing in the state of Western Australia, to best performing, in two years, with nothing more than a maths O level!)
Itās sad that it comes down ācounting the penniesā on the social services part. Or as I call it, āprofit over peopleā. Sickening.
@Kazzy65 Thinking of you. It is so isolating and I have never felt so alone as I have done last few days. But this is a very supportive Forum and we do understand. My heart goes out to you regarding the death of your beloved dog.
Most social workers Iāve met canāt even count!
I have lots of accountancy experience and realised that my sonās carer was stealing substantial amounts of money. Whatever the balance left was in his tin on Sunday evening, according to the paper records, ādisappearedā by Monday morning. I reported this to Social Services, the head of LD had a look and said she could see nothing wrong. I drove to my sonās home to get the records, then right across to the other side of the New Forest to show her, then home (78 miles for this journey in total). When I showed her what was wrong, she said āthatās terribleā but she had never noticed herself. She is now one of the most senior officers in Hampshire Social Services! I rest my case.
@bowlingbun, Oh no! Sorry to hear that. I hope your son got his money back and the SW thief was caught. Once again, this shows a very broken system. It saddens me that head of LD got a promotion for sheer incompetence. I wonder what favors did she pull to get this position? I also wonder how these people became social workers? Itās another case of āone rule for them, other rules for usā. Your case I reckon is one of many reasons the system should be overhauled. It shows in our case plus others, we are been treated like weāre nothing to them. Itās a shame that we canāt name and shame them. 
Thank you. I know, this forum and a group I was on, on Facebook for dogs with Cushings and Kidney Disease have been a godsend to me tbe past couple of months. It is being able to connect with people in thr same situations. Sometimes you just need a few kind words so you know others understand.
That is awful - I have a camera at my sisterās so I check in regularly and go through the footage each day. This is how we found a befriender that we were paying an hour for, only staying for 30 minutes. I could video capture the info to send to the care agency.
The Head of LD here was convicted of possessing many indecent photos of minors and deregistered for life!
I hope he suffered a little more than thatā¦
@bowlingbun, 
OMG. I guess karma has given him a kicking. Rightly so. It made me wonder how long has the LD āpossessedā these images?