Care home visiting

Well finally got to see Mum yesterday since about a week before lockdown. I had to go at an appointed time. had to wear a mask and Mum had to wear a face shield. We had to sit the required distance apart. We had planned to sit outside but it started drizzling. the staff had made the room look as nice as they could and put fresh flowers on the table.

I was not allowed to use their toilets, go into the main building and they apologised that they couldn’t offer me a drink. I did stay for 45 minutes and Mum looked really well in herself but was rather confused and thought she was coming home with me.

I am the only person allowed to visit her so far, other family have to wait a bit longer but I’m happy with that as they have been marvellous with Mum and all the staff and residents were tested several weeks ago and are all clear of CV.

I hope others on here manage successful visits too.

Penny, so glad you got to see your Mum, even if the situation was far from ‘normal.’ Great she looks so well. Sounds like your Mum and her fellow care home residents and staff are one of the lucky ones to be CV free. Do you have another visit arranged?

Melly1

thank you Melly, yes I do. It’s still by appointment only so am going same time next Friday. Friday is a good day because they have either scampi and chips or fish pie or fish n chips for lunch which she really looks forward to after my visit.

Penny, that sounds like a great day and time to visit, with a favourite meal to distract her after the visit. Are you planning anything nice for yourself afterwards?

Melly1

Still visiting once a week and Mum seems OK. Visits still strictly controlled and timed but there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon that other family members may be allowed to visit. Nobody still allowed in main building, no tea/coffees and no using the loo. have to wear mask and Mum has to wear a visor.

Hope everybody else on here is coping with this strange new way of life!

Penny,

Glad she is doing ok and that others will be able to visit her soon.

Melly1

Mentions on the news today about patients with Dementure and Alzheimers’s, but the restricted visits are affecting ALL elderly people with family in Care or Nursing homes.

My Parents, both in late 80’s, got to see each other for the first time in months in a pokey room full of spare beds (it was raining unfortunately). Mum got very upset as my Dad couldn’t even give her a cuddle or a peck on the cheek of course… both of them actually got very angry about this as a result. Then they decided not to have visits at all because it was so upsetting, and stick to phone and FaceTime contact…until???

There are plenty of people who are finding this increasingly difficult…another time bomb ticking away in the background I fear…

Oldham, its not just the elderly either, my friend’s son (in his 20’s) lives in supported living and needs 2 to 1 around the clock care, she has not been allowed to see him since March. He has a learning disability and mental health difficulties and very limited communication, so does not understand why she has stopped visiting him.

Really difficult for all concerned. Does your Mum live alone?

Melly1

I heard the news today too. I look forward to seeing my Mum in her own room and not being limited to 20 minutes. It’s all the little things I do for her when I’m there that I miss too, like watering her plants, sorting out any knitting problems, checking her toiletries etc.

The staff have been truly brilliant with Mum and she looks really well in herself but she is a lot more confused but seems jolly enough. a few weeks into lockdown we were facetiming and she cried her eyes out. It was terrible!

My Mum is in a Nursing home, Dad is still living at parental home with support of a carer.

Glad you’ve been able to visit Mum, Penny

Well what a disappointment in the news from Mat Hancock today. We are no better off regarding visiting people in care homes! I have been Garden visiting Mum once a week for about a month observing social distancing, sanitiser, masks etc. Two weeks ago they allowed up to 3 family members to visit at once outside. All was ticking along nicely.

Today it says ONE nominated family member will be allowed to visit still with PPE etc.

i just don’t get it!

One at a time, Penny, or the same one person on each occasion?

I don’t understand why there are guidelines for the over 70’s, guidelines for those shielding and then a new un-related rule book for those in residential care/supported living etc

My friend is still not allowed to visit her young son in his supported living flat (he has 2 care staff at all times.) His Dad has been allowed to see him and is now counted as his bubble.

Melly1

As I read it Melly it’s the one same person on every visit. At the moment I go once a week and my brother goes once a week on a different day.