I think they chose the “sudden stroke” storyline so they could have a more interesting and watchable carer with more side stories such as the children , the work and the ex.
If they’d based it on most of us over 60s (boring, retired, married,) caring for immobile, incontient, non verbal 80+ they’d have lost most of the audience in less than 5 minutes
It was made as ‘entertainment’ and had poetic licence
“If they’d based it on most of us over 60s (boring, retired, married,) caring for immobile, incontient, non verbal 80+ they’d have lost most of the audience in less than 5 minutes”
Spot on.
You know, I can just about recall I think it was Tracy Ullman, doing a ‘sketch’ if it could be called that, where she is a middle aged single woman, looking after her mother. The whole sketch is a monologue, as the mother just ‘sits’ there, and TU is chatting away to her, madly ‘cheerful’ saying how she is going out for the evening (she is looking ‘nice’ for a dowdy middle aged woman), and how ‘you’ll be fine, mum, the sitter is going to be here any minute, and I’ll only be out for a few hours - I haven’t been out for ever so long, have I, not months and months! And I’ll be back later, and the sitter will be lovely…’
Chats on with manic ‘desperation’. Then the phone rings, and TU picks it up, and says, ‘Oh, I see. All right. Yes, of course. I understand. Well, perhaps another time then…’
And it’s the sitter, cancelling. And then TU just takes her gloves off, and her jacket, and sits down at the table, and says, with a kind of quiet suicidal desperation, ‘Well, Mum, looks like I’m in again tonight. Won’t that be nice?’…
It was truly one of the most chilling pieces of TV I’ve ever seen.
TERRIFYING.
Yes, I accept it was entertainment and I accept the poetic licence. I just wonder how many people watch it and have their eyes opened, because this is not the sort of thing I could watch till the end.
It surely could not show us. We would come over as complete idiots or fussing too much, just the way we possibly do to many careworkers. Indeed, how could you convey the feeling of being pushed aside from life and not taken seriously?
I suppose a play can only concentrate on one or two points. But I fear the discharge nurse could appear to be the cause of all the problems.
Yes, I think the ‘shoot the messenger’ (ie, the discharge nurse) is a real danger. It is not HER fault there is no NHS funding for ‘CHC care for all’, etc.
Plus, she pretty eloquently - and angrily - pointed out that NHS nurses would be deflected from sick children to cleaning up incontinent old women…not that that was a very kind or understanding thing to say, but it did highlight the brutal reality of ‘elder care’. That SO much of it is ‘basic’ at the extreme.
I wonder how many of the audience were folk who have, as yet, not been affected by any of the care issues it raised? I suspect not that many as, just as you say Greta, it made pretty grim viewing.
(Almost as grim as Death and Nightingales, which I watched the end of last night! Good Grief, just as well it was ‘metaphorical’ for the plight of Ulster - how can everyone in the whole drama have screwed up their lives SO much?!!! Talk about depressing!) (in case anyone else here watched it, it is NOT a happy ending!)
I’m feeling too low at the moment to watch a lot of things.
My favourite is Dr. Blake atm as it’s based in Ballarat, Australia, where we have friends. I’ve been in some of the buildings they used, and walked round the lake with my OH.
The town has one of the most interesting shops selling antique style door and drawer knobs etc. that I’ve ever seen. (My utterly useless piece of information for today!)
Sorry you are feeling low Bowling Bun. I totally understand. Is there anything we can all help with? You give such a boost to those of us who pass through here.
Totally understand about not being able watch this sort of telly. I’ve not watch it yet either. Also finding Christmas a bit sad and stressful. Found Mum crying this week as she couldn’t read her Christmas cards and then couldn’t remember who the people were who had sent them. Dad is still struggling with visits from us in his nursing home, last one culminated in him telling me to eff off (whilst staff were popping telling me what a sweet lovely man he is - lol). So not really looking forward to Christmas visit.
I’ve not been to Ballarat, I visited Australia about 10 years ago, but went to East Coast, Alice Springs and Darwin. Would love to go back and explore some more. Did you enjoy living there?
My guilty TV escape was “I’m a Celebrity…”. but shush, don’t tell anyone. I’ve not found a good replacement for it yet now it is over, although I brought the Christmas Radio Times yesterday, so shall go through with my pen later! Other TV high spot is watching rubbish Christmas movies with the kids - who are now almost beyond excitement about the big day. xxx
Don’t think I will ever watch that care programme. Need a distraction not reminders. I’m feeling extra sensitive at the moment. Am luckier than lots, as I have a supportive family. But still at the moment I could cry at adverts, and all sorts of nonsense.
((((((( Massive hug )))))) to all that need one.
How kind, Pet. ((((((massive hug)))))) back, and to everyone.
Thanks Sally, SSD are doing my head in!
However, I’ve just spoken to the Service Manager for my half of Hampshire, and it seems that at last I’ve been listened to. Meeting next week with those concerned. Fingers crossed.
I explained that by nature i’m an organiser, and that SSD were so disorganised and working so inefficiently. I suggested that I could really help them work more efficiently and sav them lots of money, and she is interested in me helping them. Wouldn’t that be a result?!
BB - I foresee a second career for you sorting out the mess in social services department!
Actually, quite seriously, I wonder if that is possible? My local hospital gratefully takes volunteers to help with admin (I spent alas only ONE day in their offices helping - one of the members of staff had a thing about ‘the cold’ so the whole temperature was BAKING and I got a migraine in half an hour - I never went back, sigh).
It’s a general problem when people whose skillset is NOT ‘administrative’ are expected to do admin!!! They just aren’t any good at it! (Whereas they can be brilliant teachers, nurses, social workers, etc etc -but rubbish at organisation)
I often wonder what would happen to the world’s economies if all the secretaries went on strike. Meltdown in a day I think!
The current social workers are definitely expected to do a job they haven’t been trained for. Just mention the word “accounts” and they will do anything to avoid the subject. “Contract” is even more of a swear word, I’ve had huge problems because M’s current care managers denied that supporting M with his money was part of their job. I’ve seen the contract, it definitely is, only the care manager hadn’t seen it, but was more concerned that I’d been allowed to. I asked for it from the Complaints Officer.
The really sad part is that their ignorance has had such a profound effect on my life, I can never reclaim the wasted years.
This is what absolutley drives me around the bend with the whole system. Social service, care organisations, NHS are all awful. When life is so stressful and busy already it is diabolical that these services lack efficiency. It is not acceptable that people have to nag and badger repeatedly to get stuff done. I REALLY hope that you can make a difference locally because I am sure there are those less persistant than us who just get lost in the chaos.
Good luck with your meeting. xxx
Hi Pet. Thank you for the massive virtual hug. It does help that other people understand. I also think I am luckier than many too, but things are somehow harder at this time of year. Massive hugs back at you. xxx
The problem is that the NHS and the SS etc etc all skimp totally on employing sufficient admin staff!
I used to be the patient/carer rep at my local hospital’s 'cancer team (I’m never quite sure what use we were - mostly it was box ticking for the overworked cancer manager as she had to be able to tick the box on ‘patient/carer rep involvement’!) However, one definite ‘thing’ we did as reps was be the patient/carer rep on the MDT peer group reviews the hospital has to carry out (both internal and external). It was very interesting, (gave a glimpse of the ‘inside workings’ of consultants and MDTs etc!) actually, but I vividly remember a SENIOR oncology surgeon (he was the LEAD for his MDT!) being taken to task because he was not ‘filling out the forms promptly’…
Now, this was a guy who could cut you open, rip out tumours, and sew you back up and you stayed alive the whole process - a man of incredible skill and experience - an incredibly rare talent in the human population - yet he was being expected to do basic clerical work…
I spoke up, one of the few times I did - and said that as a taxpayer it was the most appalling use of tax money to pay a SURGEON to do clerical work!!! His hourly rate was HUGE compared to an admin assistant…
The trouble is, not only is there skimping on admin staff, but most ‘top managers’ or even ‘techical experts’ (like surgeons etc) don’t actually see ‘admin’ as a job at all. They don’t realise that if you do not KEEP order you LOSE order. Records do NOT keep themselves!!!