Aspergers and work

Hello. My adult son has mild Asperger’s disorder, is 27 and has never been able to hold down any kind of job. He still lives at home and is taking anti depressants and anti anxiety medications. Sadly he also drinks heavily. He is very intelligent and is a qualified Personal trainer. He did try working in a gym but found it too stressful. He left after 2 sessions.
He has social anxiety but does have a few friends.
I wonder if he will ever work. Most of the time he is gaming or watching tv. He does help his nan with some of the chores.
I would be interested to know how other young people with Asperger’s cope in the workplace.

If he is a Personal Trainer, then with some encouragement there are lots of opportunities right now, for him to do one to one training with those people who are putting on weight during lockdown.

I’m sure he would find this an entirely different experience, in the New Forest there are now people who are doing “outdoor gym” for example. In helping others like this, and only having one person to talk to, he might thrive.

Thank you Bowlingbun, it’s been a few years since he did any personal training but 1:1 training outdoors is a good idea. I’ll mention this to him - we live on the outskirts of London.

Thank you, Honey Badger for your reply.
Your first paragraph about ‘employer’s lack of understanding’ is one of the main factors that stopped my son from returning to work.
The manager saw my son as a strong, tough looking young 20 ish year old but really he was terribly nervous. On day 2 of working as a gym instructor they expected him to get up on a stage and teach a class how to use some of the equipment. He told me later on that he just could not do it. When it was his break time he just walked out. The manager tried to phone him at home later on but my son refused to talk to him. This all happened about 7 years ago.
On another occasion my son tried working in a care home with teenagers with severe learning difficulties. The first few days were fine - he shadowed a confident, experienced carer. But on day 4 they just left him to get on with it and he could not cope.
I’m not making excuses for my son - each time he left a job I was terribly disappointed and we talked about what had gone wrong.
With a bit more support and understanding I believe my son could have held onto a job.
I’ve suggested to him to do voluntary work but he won’t.

Hi Honey Badger,
Thank you for your post and your understanding. It really means a lot to me.
I am still hopeful that one day he will venture out into some kind of employment. When he does I’ll let you know.
Best wishes to you.

My son is 19 and has Aspergers he got an amazing job at 17 but struggled because of time keeping and organising himself. He then took up some volunteer work that embroiled him in politics a subject he is passionate about. Without any a levels he managed to get a place in university this year by using his cv all of his lectures are online and he’s loving it. I don’t know what the future will hold for him at the end but he’s learning and happy. Could it be a root for your son?

That’s great that your son is enjoying studying. That’s interesting because my son is also passionate about politics!

Hi I know a lot of people with Aspergers normally have a passion about something and in my experience are so amazing at self learning when it comes to these. It doesn’t need to be politics just happens to be my sons. He certainly become more confident since starting the course and he’s enjoying been great at something without all the social dancing i so wish we would of pushed the college for home learning now. Most people he meets have no awareness of his Aspergers and it’s definitely a label he’s hated he’s not one to accept help because of it which has sometimes been to his detriment but there are times this has worked in his favour. I don’t know if the degree will take him to a career in politics or not but it will give him time and space to mature and hopefully find his path. I’ve never seen him happier!!