Does anyone have any advice about what to say to social worker/physio? Got an assessment with Mum where they look at the house etc and discuss what additional support she may need. Feels like they should have done this already. Do you know what it is they are looking for?
I can make myself a nice little list then 
Well rachel, the best way to look at the house and think what does your mum need. They should have some idea of your mum condition to give them so idea. When they ask say for extra carers support ask them can they give you a idea of hours and maybe cost in case you need them if you working when you can’t care but also what would they do for her and not do. Don’t hide anything be honest as you can.
They’ve sort of decided on hours but it can change I suppose. Good idea I suppose it’s a case of showing them hazards in her house. Good advice though, need to think about potential costs etc
Make sure any Needs Assessment looks at all the help mum needs, INCLUDING the things you currently help mum with! My own mum kept failing to tell me when she was having an assessment, then when I saw the results it said I did all sorts of things for her and was happy to continue, without anyone actually asking me!!!
Thanks @bowlingbun, that’s why I want to be there for it. Mum seems to most of the time she can do everything for herself, so I want to know what she’s coming out with more than anything.
Hi @RachelK we did one many moons ago - here’s the CarersUK link if that helps Carer's assessment | Carers UK
Things they focused on with us…I won’t comment on accuracy, Our actual needs and the ability to fulfill what we Actually wanted…biut will share how/if helped!
how far dad could walk, with what aids and fulfilling the questionnaire was a LONG LONG q’aire with redundant questions considering our situation…
my advice is make sure you share YOUR priority list of needs in writing, print and give them a list of high priority concerns - AIM high expect LOW…- sorry cynical carer - Not just the system but also that Dad refused to use a lot - which is not really part of the ‘equation’ in care support…sufferers of dementia are not children, they will make their own choices…optimising aids is not a consideration…Sorry stepping off soapbox
@Chris_22081 wondering if you have more recent thoughts to share with @RachelK
Thanks @Victoria_1806 that is really helpful. I think most of those things I know is a no go already… thankfully mum has a bungalow and a little bedroom downstairs she can use rather than trying to negotiate the loft conversion. Steps in and out on all three exits and step into the kitchen, think that’s what I’m expecting is going to be the scary part 
I suppose I will tell them everything that’s an issue and what she can and can’t do. Have no doubt she can at least this time get into the bathroom for the loo, last time she had a commode in the living room and basically lived in there with little to no dignity. What a nightmare!!
Awww gosh that’s 
for your mum…
These have been helpful suction-grabrails: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Support-Suction-Disability-Bathroom-Elderly/dp/B0764CZ27C/ref=sr_1_23?crid=106JOXC66CR9E&keywords=grabrails&qid=1696708163&sprefix=grabrails%2Caps%2C363&sr=8-23
We don’t have steps into kitchen or bathroom but FYI Amazon.co.uk : ramps
I can’t go into the whole Steps stairs things - that’s where my PTSD lies… ask me when we’re F-2-F or have wine… but yes get Rails and limit unaided steps
Might be helpful to run through her routine from getting up to sleeping…the smallest piece e.g. putting on socks (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Putting-Stocking-Disabled-Handicapped-Pregnant/dp/B07XNTBF91/ref=asc_df_B07XNTBF91/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=394229377131&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2607131921476494566&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9180625&hvtargid=pla-870705696848&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=84693556791&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=394229377131&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2607131921476494566&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9180625&hvtargid=pla-870705696848) to the every day
no button tops…
shampoo’g hair etc
Sorry keep thinking of more @RachelK if they’re experienced carers they’ll know but probe them for your own reassurance
@Victoria_1806 i think it’s easy to forget how much there is in terms of a routine and limitations. Mums local council have appointed a care company who look to be better than the last one and have longer with her(in theory) so will just be honest.
I’m not sure how they would get hand rails in the kitchen or bathroom, they aren’t big enough in my opinion. Will see what happens. Thanks for the links I will take a look but the suction ones I’ve already got for her
Hi @RachelK - sorry I’ve been a bit quiet for a couple of days and not offering much support. Thx to @Victoria_1806 for the nudge. I think she did it cos I had quite an experience over Carers Assessment and I have fairly strong views.
Graham (hubby) had a stroke at New Year 2022 but started to make a reasonable recovery. Not enough to prevent me having to close our medical practice with little warning and no chance to sell it on. The result was that we had no income but G was able to claim his state pension (timing!!). Due to being quite careful we had savings which meant we can get little or no state support. Then things went downhill and he suffered one medical set back after another. I have LPA (we both brought up the topic one evening which was ‘interesting’) so I went ahead and claimed AA for him and when that was awarded I claimed CA.
The AA form was a nightmare and needed so much detail. If you haven’t already claimed I suggest you are brutally direct with your answers. Make a note of just how many times and for how long you are up every night with personal care needs. Include changing bed/assisting shower or bath.
When it comes to the Carers Assessment as has been said - this relates to YOU and YOUR NEEDS so don’t be confused about that. Again you have to be blunt with what help YOU need and how you would like to see that put in place. The form I received (by email) read like a ‘Human Resources’ annual performance review. Questions like ‘How do you feel you are coping in your role’; ‘How do you see your role developing in the next year’; What do you need to help you in your role’; ‘What are your priorities in your role for the next year?’ You should have heard my comments when I read that piece of (expletive deleted)…
I completed it and emailed it back as I had been told it was just a form to initiate a discussion about my needs. Imagine my shock when I got a letter from our local Council stating that I had been party to a discussion about me needs and ‘it appears you do not wish further assistance at this time, however the Council is prepared to award yo a grant of £200 towards gym membership which you mentioned.’ I replied asking when and where the discussion had taken place - and heard nothing back until I lodged a formal complaint. This was passed back to the Carers Support Centre as the official stated they were the Council’s Contractor. @Charlesh47 pointed out that they cannot delegate their responsibilities under the Care Act but I was brushed off again with a call from the Carers Support Service. They kept asking which of their services I thought would be of use - and I replied I did not know WHAT services they provide so how the heck do I know?
They eventually said that the only thing which may be of help was a monthly zoom meeting. I joined two of them and gave up. The only bit of interest was a Walk and Talk group - but when I asked about where they are centred I found out it is the other side of Bristol - 45 minutes drive from home… A waste of time.
I am being negative and perhaps I needed to review the form and change my answers. You will need to be direct in your answers and not be fobbed off with platitudes so spend a little time working through a typical week and seeing where YOU need some support or want time out from your Caring Role. Dont try to see how YOU will develop as that’s a load of bull in my opinion. They really should not be pushing the emphasis onto you to say what you need - they should be ASESSING what you need. There’s a clue in the title.
Sorry I have rambled a bit and been on my soapbox so forgive me for that. If you need any help filling in a form like that feel free to DM me and I will try to help - or contact CarersUK help line as they will give impartial advice.
Above all - dont give up and dont be fobbed off or forced to agree to do more than you are TOTALLY comfortable with. Walk through the home and list things like handrails, and as much safety equipment as you think might help. A good OT or physio should make suggestions and know what they can and cannot provide. Consider bathroom grab handles, and everything else you think may possibly be of the smallest help. It took a while til I found some of the adjustments that they can help with - we didnt have a second stair rail installed because G’s mobility improved sufficient, but there are times when it could have been useful.
@Victoria_1806 has listed few more items but unless you know to ask they dnt always volunteer them.
Best of luck and 
to you. Ask if I can expand on anything else (I am sure you think I cant write any more…) 
Thanks @Chris_22081, I will make sure I re-read that again before Monday but it’s very useful. AA I am not sure on, but I will raise it on Monday as it’s been referenced to me before. Carers allowance I doubt I would be entitled to as I don’t live locally to my Mum, so it’s all remote and I assume it’s based on living near to or with the person? But I will read up on it.
Heading up there tomorrow so have the evening to myself to write some questions and things down.
Thanks to everyone for being so helpful and offering advice, I really do appreciate your wisdom.
we need to link your response moving forward to copy & paste for others!! - yep exactly THNAKS and, hear you Chris!!
really helpful
Safe journey for tomorrow and best of luck with Monday. Hopefully you will get a good OT/Physio who is knowledgeable and is in the post for the right reasons.
I don’t know why anyone should think a commode is acceptable these days, when there are much better alternatives. We went away almost every summer weekend, with our caravan, going to steam shows. We had a Porta Potti.so much nicer. My mum’s OT issued one for her, plus toilet frame specially designed for it. Mum decided she would rather hobble to her bathroom, then fall over and go to hospital or call an ambulance instead!!!
@bowlingbun I agree - a commode is so demeaning for the user and carer!