Moving back into the family home to look after my father in his eighties
There are four children
And my father owns the house
I have no other accommodation no job other than caring as I have prostate cancer and rely on Bicalutamide and zoladex hormone implants but just get by
What happens when my father dies
By the time his estate is split up and the bit of mortgage paid up I’ll be lucky to see the price of a car by that time may need a career myself
No one lives local for me
How do local authorities see this
Hi David,
Wishing you a warm welcome to the Forum!
That’s a lot of stress and worry you are having to deal with. But please know you’re not alone, we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK can potentially help to give you some advice tailored to your individual circumstances as a carer surrounding issues like:
Benefits and financial support
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions
Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org)
Citizens Advice may also be able to provide some further advice too- Carers: help and support - Citizens Advice
I truly hope that some of this information can help you David.
Best Wishes,
Lucy
Hi David,
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. You might want to look at this website and maybe contact them for a bit of advice: Homelessness advice - Shelter England
Can I just ask where you were living prior to looking after your Dad? Private renting? In your own property? I only ask this because when you contact your local authority, they will ask you this. How old are you by the way?
If and when you become homeless, it “appears” you have priority for rehousing based on your illness so they should offer you temporary accommodation before more long term accommodation. Certain illnesses and health issues trigger priority for rehousing, so if someone is genuinely homeless, has nowhere else to go and they have priority for rehousing, they have to be offered some sort of temporary accommodation and a priority banding for rehousing. Depending on your local authority and their housing stock, this might be a council property, a housing association property or even a private rented property.
I suggest you phone your local authority next week and ask for a callback from their housing department. They will be able to give you some advice and possible steps to take. Also, they may ask you to do a housing application and give you a high banding straight away so they don’t have to put you into temporary accommodation (it costs them a fortune and the government are asking for numbers in temporary accommodation to be reduced) or they may be able to help you with a bond for private rented accommodation.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
PS. The information above I have based on my local authority. Things might be different where you are. So best to phone up and ask for advice and help.
In your circumstances it would be best NOT to move in with dad unless he makes special provision for you in his will. At very least increasing your share to half of the property. You are making yourself homeless long term. Can you tell us more about dad’s situation. We may be able to suggest alternative solutions.
Hello, David. I am sorry to hear about your situation. However it would help we had a little more information.
- Why are you vacating your present accommodation and what type of accommodation is it?
- How is your father’s general health. What health issues does he have that require caring?
- Who are these four children? Are they you and your siblings? What is their age range? Do they have any health issues?
- Is your prostate cancer preventing you from getting a job?
There are possible good ways forward, but we need clarification on these points - otherwise there are too many alternatives to consider.