Single parent/carer of sen children

Single parent here of sen children with absolutely no support network in yhe terms of physical help or support. I have ongoing health issues myself and i feel completely lost after 17 years of caring for my children . My only break is during school hours which i use to do chores_shopping /meal prep ect , i lack sleep at night due to children unable to settle . We have a social worker for 1 child when i asked for help as a whole but nothing has been put in place . I think im completely burnt out but theres nobody to step in. What else is out there in terms of help and support as im clearly getting nowhere and dont know how much more i can take now

Hi @Lvicki86
welcome to the forum.

Can you give us a bit more information eg the age of your children and their support needs?

This will help us tailor our suggestions.

Almost 18 LD, autism, sensory, social communicational difficulties , loss of fluidity in gross and fine motor skills, distractability, cant maintain friendships, cant/wont go anywhere alone , anxiety, low mood, lack of confidence, low self esteeme- uses melatonin to sleep
Age 9 autism, sensory , extreemly impulsive, is often on a dysregulated state and is unable to be brought round from it in both home & school setting, no obvious triggers or warning so think something else is going on there - takes things out of context, short tempered, doesnt like others to make noise but enjoys hearing himself , likes to be in control , confabulates, is a runner when it comes to fight_flight - constantly attacking myself and younger sibling on a daily basis - uses melatonin to sleep
Age 7 autism, sensory, very intelligent, extreemly sensory when it comes to foods, extreemly clingy and emotional , has over the years started to hit back when middle sibling hurtes them,

Home is not a happy place at the moment- awaiting larger home but this may take years in our area to give all children the space /bedrooms they need

All 3 trigger eachother on a daily basis and im constantly being referee with the 2 youngest who both make the eldest stay in their bedroom away from them

I have mental health issues along with a few oyher medical issues

Time to stop being Superwoman and start yelling help! When did you last have a Carers Assessment?
Any long term plans for your eldest? Transition planning?

Ove been yelling for help for around 3 years , social workers have been involved for almost 2 years with no support in plave , when they do speak of help its what can benefit 1 child ( middle child) id initially chased them up 3 years ago for a carers assesment but they simply didnt listen and will only put 1hour per week in for 1 child to go to an activity? Ive told them again why i initially contacted thwm and asked why the oyher children are not bwing included because its pointless sending 1 child for an activity wheres the restbite in that?infact iy would cause absolute chos as the others wouldnt understand why one can be invluded and thw others not. As for everyone else ive grafually cut them off one by one or reduced time with family , they know im struggling and ive clearly stated i need time for me and i dont get a break ect and they dont act on it … im the type that would help anyone even in crisis myself but when the boots on the other foot im on my own

Apologies for any typos, im using my phone for the page at the moment so i cant see the full screen

Long term so far for eldest is to continue with college and wotk placement working with animals , child is hopingnto work with animals but i honestly cant see it being possible and i feel she is setting jerself up to fail ( i know this sounds harse but she cant go out alone, cant go on public transport/taxis alone , cant manage money, looses things . I actually frar for her future
College have done the most recent ehcp review last month and have put an application in for adult social care , i was told they will take the strain off me but i cant see them doing anything and have no confidence in the ss at all

@Lvicki86 Home life sounds very tough.

Are your children’s schools aware of the issues? Asking for CAF re your youngest as this would kickstart a multi agency approach to look at and address the various issues you are all facing.

What respite is available locally? Middle child having respite would benefit all of you.

What is older child going to do post 19? Would residential specialist college be an option? This would give you more space during college term times, enable them to escape a difficult home life and build their self confidence.

My son went to Fairfield Opportunity College near Warminster, it was so good for him. Have a look at it first, it’s somewhere that belongs to NATSPEC. Independent special needs colleges. It would introduce them to becoming an adult and living away from home, with lots of support. Also give you a desperately needed break.

Hi, I can’t offer any advice in getting help but just to let you know that I totally relate to the relentlessness of being a single parent! I’ve been a single parent for 18 years and I’m now a carer for my youngest son, who’s 19. I had very little support when they were younger as I had no family close by - It must be so hard trying to deal with your situation and I sympathise greatly. X