Hi everyone, my name is Carole and I have recently became a full time carer for my husband, who had s traumatic brain injury in December and has recently been discharged from hospital. I also have two 90 year old parents to look after. I am finding it a bit hard at the moment, especially with no-one being able to visit and help. Also I used to work full time, not used to being at home 24/7 , how do I get used to losing my independence? Has antyone got any advice to help me please ?
Hi Carole, welcome to the forum,
What caused the brain injury? Did the hospital arrange a care plan for him before discharge?
With regard to your parents, your role needs to change to care supervisor or manager, rather than hands on carer. This worked really well for me and my housebound disabled mum.
What sort of things are you doing for them?
Are either of them claiming Attendance Allowance?
Do they live in their own, or rented property?
Do they have over £46,000 between them (Yes/No)
I have recently joined the forum too and like you care for my husband, as well as my daughter and diabetic son. My husband has a brain injury from a stroke in 2017. He is aphasic and has right-sided paralysis. He had 7 and half months in hospital and it is a huge change suddenly finding yourself as a carer to your spouse. My Mum had MS when I was growing up so I had some experience and understanding of life living with a loved one with a disability but when it is your husband with a disability it is uniquely different. I found that the relationship which was once reciprocal in the support and love we gave one another is now one of dependency and my husband is wholly my responsibility. It comes as a shock!
Feel free to let us know how you are coping emotionally with all this upheaval as well as all the practical stuff.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I joined this group because I don’t think anyone else who is not in this situation would completely understand. I have found it hard to cope, particularly because of the virus situation he was discharged early - was supposed to go to rehab but that is on hold. He also has had a craniectomy so is particularly at risk of falls. I am sure I will get there, especially when lockdown ends and I can get visitors and help !
Carole, under no circumstances should you try to lift him on your own. Call the ambulance, that is what they are there for, and of course this would not have happened if the discharge was done properly in the first place. A friend of mine has a senior position in an ambulance service, he says they are happy to help. In turn, they will alert the GP if they think more needs to be done.
Hope you are holding up ok. My husband also had a craniectomy and then had a cranioplasty. Do you know when yours might have his operation?
My husband had inpatient rehab and then community rehab. Is anyone giving you any advice over the phone or video calling you?
Does he need any specific therapies?
Happy to help in any way I can
Thamk you for your advice. I have already had to call 3 ambulances due to prolonged seizures, and they were a great help.
Hi, thank you for your reply. He will have the op later in the year. He needs cognitive therapy, and has weakness down right hand side, can’t walk properly or lift his arm. How are you coping with being uour husbands 24/7 carer? Do you get any help?