Hi
Well I’m back and I did stop paying the care contributions . The council are refusing to pay the whole care bill and say I will have to now find a cheaper care provider . Why should we have to do that when my mum has property , land . I just can’t touch it yet due to waiting for deputyship .
For 6 months the council told me my mum would be a self funder and happily allowed me to change care companies as the councils company was horrendous .
Now they have backtracked and said they have disregarded mums property for the sake of my brother who does not fit into any of the qualifying criteria and mum lives with me so has no need for it .
So now there saying she is not self funding but I have to pay the £772 a fortnight contribution or go back to the cheaper company !
I have lodged a complaint but not hopeful as she doesn’t really understand the social care the way it works !!
I have wrote to the mp
I have complained to the social care omnibus man but have to wait for the councils response .
But In the meantime mum is going to loose the care company we currently have .
What else can I do . Why should mums care be compromised for the sake of a son that contributes nothing , no longer visits and lives in her house rent and bill free . Whilst me and mum live in poverty .
Something doesn’t seem right at all .
Sorry if it doesn’t make sense I’m ranting …
Is your mum living with you? And her appalling son living in HER house etc?
If so, then drive her to A&E and leave her there. She has NO legal right to live in your house. Let the council sort it. They will if they have to. They won’t if you go on coping with it, and your vile brother gets away with it.
You have NO legal duty of care for her at all. Force the council’s hand by ‘dumping’ her on them (physically!).
I know that sounds extreme, but ‘being nice’ will get you nowhere.
I know what Jenny suggests sounds extreme, but it is an instant solution. Mum has a house of her own, and her care can be provided at HER house.
You sound like you a slave to her in your house. Has mum always been allowed to “Rule the Roost” in the family. As an adult you are entitled to put yourself first, and don’t have to do ANYTHING for ANYONE else if you don’t want to.
Maybe take mum over to see brother and her house, and leave her there. Then get the locks changed on your house.
You CAN escape your virtual prison today if you want to! And come back to a quiet and peaceful home which you can enjoy, where you can relax again. Isn’t it worth the effort. No one is caring about you, so why care about them?
Both my brothers left me to care for mum for many years. I know how it feels.
Yes, even better to take her over to HER house and leave her there! Do you have a key to it (does she?) Check first. Then simply take her there in a taxi if you have to. Tell her you’re just going to visit. Then LEAVE her and phone your appalling brother (make sure he is out) (Or, just deposit her on the doorstep, ring the bell, and LEAVE…ie, if he is in. HE CAN DAMN WELL COPE. You can leave a small suitcase with her nightthings in it.
Then (a) change your locks (in case your bro has a key or your mum does) (change them BEFORE you take her over), and also YOU need to go away so he can’t dump her back. Though if he does, phone 999 and REFUSE TO LET HER BACK IN.
This is a really appalling situation, and it’s disgraceful of yoru borther, obviously, but also of the council You HAVE to force their hand and REFUSE to have anything more to do with your mum until she is in a care home, or back in HER house.
DON’T GET INVOLVED!
Oh no I think I have explained myself wrong . My poor mum has no capacity and no idea what’s going on .
I chose to care for my mum at my home with the help of four Carers .
We were told from day 1 my mum would be a self funder hence why I ditched the rubbish home care agency for a better one as my mums property would be more than enough to pay for her care …
the council have taken her house from her and given it to my brother to live in , thus depriving my mother of her assets to pay for good quality care and now they are saying she has to go back to the cheaper care company or me and my mother have to pay the contribution of £772 a fortnight out of our benefits .
What right do the council have to deprive my mother of her assets . If family did that isn’t it classed as abuse .
The council / social services seem to be favouring my brother rather than protecting my mother …
so basically either my mum and myself pay her contributions leaving us both living in poverty or I give up the quality care for the inadequate cheaper care company .
Whilst my brother lives in mums home rent and bill free .
I don’t see how this can be legal . My mum has the funds in assets to pay for quality care how can the council deprive her of this .
It’s all crazy!!
You need legal advice, fast, from a specialist in Community Care Law. Mum should ultimately pay.
That’s the thing mum could pay yet the council disregarded her main asset for a non dependant adult yet they still expect her to find funds without it .
Crazy it sure is
You could make a “subject access request” to the council to find out what has been written, but they might not accept it unless you are mum’s legal representative. How far have you got with this?
Christine,
That’s ridiculous. I don’t understand on what grounds your brother is allowed to stay in your mother’s house, when she needs to sell it to pay for her care. Meanwhile your Mum who is living with you cannot (via you access her asset - her home. Plus, the council are happy to pay out for ( poor quality) care rather use the value of her home. Nonsensical. Clearly your brother is a very clever and manipulative man. You definitely need legal advice ASAP. Does your house insurance cover legal fees?
Melly1
Deputyship well you won’t be surprised to hear its been delayed by my brother as he feels we don’t need it ha
But my solicitor is putting my form in next week which my brother will object to .
So as of yet I have no legal power .
I have no idea but I do know my brother wrote s very long letter stating it was his inheritance so had to be disregarded haha who knew they disregarded a property on those grounds !!He doesn’t fall into any of the disregard categories . But the fact he is a parish councillor I imagine helped in the decision . My mother is also in a buisness partnership with my brother but it would appear she revives no profits from this !
I’m hoping once court of protection is involved that will open up what is rightly mums .
Why is it your brother’s inheritance and not yours too?
I smell a king size rat in all of this.
Not sure if it’s at all relevant - but I understood that property was not taken into account when doing a financial assessment for domiciliary care (ie. not residential care) and only your mother’s savings should be taken into account to determine whether she is self-funding or LA-funded.
I wonder if this is what has “muddied the waters” in this situation???
That’s usually because the person still lives there which is not the case and the solution I need is either a deferred payment or for the council to at least pay the contributions until such a time I have deputyship and access her funds , yet they are refusing either
I think thats only if the caree occupies the property. Here, the caree has moved in with the daughter and doesn’t reside in the property she owns. Therefore the properly becomes capital like any other assets/savings., like a holiday home or second owned properly would.
Very muddy waters indeed.