PS - It’s so sad your mum is bed bound now. Do you think there would be any chance, were you to move closer to the sea, that she could be hoisted into a wheelchair for sea front outings in the summer months? SUCH a shame to be incarcerated in a single room. Not good for her mind, either, alas…
More great advice. Much appreciated.
I am already getting rid of stuff and will do more once my son comes down over cmas.
Jenny, Mother has said thet she would like to go out and about in a wheelchair if we moved somewhere else, so I am hopeful that her quality of life could improve. She would prefer to stay where she is cos its familiar but agrees that she only really needs a room where as for me the world outside the room is important too.
I will be arranging a holiday in the village I would like to move to asap. Already contacted estate agents to register my interest in various properties.
Valuatiion next!
It is all quite exciting and a tince scarey. I am not sure what is going to happen but I need to explore all possabilities.
It could be daft freeing up so much capital cos the council will want it for carers … Mind you I guess that would be the same whenever we moved. I just want to be settled.
Jacqueline, only you can decide if you are happy to “sacrifice” that capital to give mum a better life, and ensure that you are where you want to be.
What does your son say?
My eldest is a real down to earth man, who sees me struggling at times, and tells me what he thinks I should and should not do. I think he’s right about 100% of the time! Sometimes I can’t see the wood for the trees.
When we had two houses to empty in quick succession, No.1 and I worked out a system.
I would decide if I NEEDED the item concerned. If the answer was “No” I’d then leave it for No.1 to look at. 90% of the time that was “No” but occasionally it was “Yes”. One day when I’m dead he will inherit the house and contents. I’d rather we sorted as much out before I die, rather than he had to do it alone afterwards.
I have a well equpped kitchen, I’m sure he’d keep most things.my clothes etc. can go to the hospice shop or the Salvation Army, and all my sewing stuff can go to the Tools for Self Reliance project near us, which sends good machines to Africa.
I hope this will all be a long time ahead, of course, but if you think what your son would do with the stuff you are deliberating over, it might help you decide.
My mum was a hoarder, with over 60 dining chairs, 10 sideboards, 10 dining tables…and that’s just the start of her hoard!! it took a year to empty her house - both sons are strong and over 6 feet tall, they helped whenever they could.
I’m sure you’ve heard the William Morris quote about not having anything in your house unless it’s useful or beautiful.
There is another saying that the happiest people are those with the fewest possessions.
Definitely food for thought.
I would be very hapoy to let mother spend as many of her savings as necessary for her to have a comfortable life. However I need to consider my brother who is due to inherit along with me.
He says I should do whatever I need to.
I will definately consult my son (Mother suggested this too).
I am worried about wasting savings just cos I want to move … I dont want to leave my brother with nothing.