94 yr old Mum in respite after Sepsis. Thought maybe the time had come for her to stay within a nurse home, but she just does`nt seem to fit. I cannot do it anymore but think full-time carers in her home might work. We are in York, can any of you lovely people recommend any care teams?Love from Jane x
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@Metty welcome to the forum .i hope you are having a nice day .you would have to ring your local county council and get a needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for yourself.can the people at the respite place that she is in refer your mum to your local county council and for home care. And assessments I’ve linked a couple of people who will come and other will to ok.@bowlingbun @Melly1 ,
Jetty, a lot depends on mum’s finances.
Does she have over ÂŁ23,000 in savings? Own her home?
Has she ever had a Needs Assessment?
How old are you? How is your own health?
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There are a variety of care homes. Start by looking at the Care Quality Commission website for those nearest you, or mum’s home. Read the reviews, look at those which sound promising. It’s like buying a house, very quickly if you will know if YOU would like to live there. On your first visit make an appintment to see the Matron/Manager. When shown around, do the staff smile and say hello to you? For a second visit, arrive around lunchtime. Does the food smell good, are people getting help who need it? e sure you ask for a Residents devils booklet. What are the extra charges, hair, feet, trips out. It’s going to be better for your peace of mind to have residential care. Your own health can change suddenly, time for you to reduce, not increase, your workload.
@Metty hi. Welcome to the forum.
I fully understand your comment that Mum doesn’t seem to fit in a nursing or residential home. My Mum is 99 and lives alone in a warden patrolled flat. She’s severely sight impaired, hard of hearing, has mild cognitive decline, chronic neck pain, mobility issues and other minor issues. She has carers for 20 min each morning, but says she doesn’t need them. They empty her commode and chat to her as she won’t accept help from anyone except family, and I’m the only one local. She says she doesn’t want the carers more often and doesn’t want to go to a home.
Two years ago we started looking at residential homes, just in case. Mum is now on the cusp of not coping at home. She was all set to go to a home a year ago, but changed her mind. It caused a major row. Now, I’ve accepted that she’s able to make her own decisions (we had a doc assess her who said, just because she can make a decision, it doesn’t mean it’s a sensible one!). Unless there’s a sudden change of circumstances she’ll struggle on. She’s going for respite in September, so we’ll see how that goes!
Honestly, I feel Mum is almost too “good” to be in a home, but “not good enough” to live alone. It’s a really difficult one. Good luck. We’ve made a lot of changes to help Mum to stay at home, as have others on here, so if you need advice just ask.
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