Hello fellow carers,
Recently I cancelled a care company because of issues relating to poor documentation, bullying and because their carers did not stay the full time that they were getting paid for. I have now employed another company to care for my family member. The company I have employed is used by the local authority, although my family member is self funding. I have secured 4 calls for him with the morning call requiring two carers. The morning call is 45 mins (x 2 carers) then 3 x half hour calls for 1 carer for lunch, dinner and bed. We have been with the new care company for a week and already they have been only staying for 10 minutes on the 30 minute call and 15 minutes on the 45 minute call. My family member has dementia and lives alone, so needs social interaction. One lunch call my family member refused lunch so she just went. The care co-ordinator initially told me that the carers should stay for at least 70% of the care call and their handbook says that they stay for the full time that we pay for. Am I expecting to much?? I don’t mind if they stay for 70% of the time but so far they can’t even manage that! I am already severely depressed, disabled and I thought that having four care calls would take the pressure off me but it hasn’t. In fact it’s contributing to it.
Thank you for your time
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@Evil_Edna Hi!!
I had a good experience with one carer for an hour but this was years ago now. Sadly, what you’ve described echoes what I’ve heard from several people, on one podcast I heard it called the ‘15mins of do and out’ or something like that. Transactional care.
What worked well for us when we desperately needed hands on care I asked the local hospice for anyone they’d recommend privately, people who know people. We had a carer who did the odd overnight awake call, and another who’d do an hour during the day. The timings were never predictable partly due to how bad my Dad was but also beause of their availability.
TBH if you’re needing 4 calls a day for them have you looked into assisted living - I know it’s a big step but there are places where they could get social interaction and be connected to care,
I don’t have direct experience of sheltered housing, care homes or assisted living but several friends on here could share their experiences or tips
I totally understand about how much stress this must be causing you. I’m sorry not to have better news or suggestions. Take care xo
@Evil_Enda, There is nothing wrong in getting the care needed. Do you have family or friends near where you live? Maybe they can help. Your situation is another example of people who don’t care about their work. Some are only interested in the money. Especially if it’s your own. @Victoria_1806 I’m glad your having more luck. I want to have my mum cared for at home again but, I’m dealing with belligerent social services, (semi-racist) social workers and belligerent and uncommunicative care home staff. It’s my constant pain in the neck at the moment. That and sorting my mum’s legal affairs (Court of protection papers).
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@JohnnyBoy Hi yes, I remember how hard things are for you right now. Just to say I was referring to our experience 2019 when we had some private support before dad passed, these days it’s just me caring for Mum but we’re in a calm-ish period
I hope something improves in your situation; it’s so tough. sending best wishes and strength.
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Appreciate it. I’m due to visit the care today (10/02). In many ways, it’ll be nice to see her, but heartbreaking as well. Especially when the likes of the social worker seems like playing God with mum’s life and many others as well. Cheers BTW.
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Have you rung the care agency and explained this to them .say the carers are not staying the times.i don’t know if my experience will be off any help for you.No I don’t think all carer agencies are or the people who carer are the same.i would ask around where you live people who have carers and ask Them what there agency and carers are like.see if you can find one that is good that way .ask around you area. Last year I was in hospital for four months when I came home .i was given a list with 3 agencies to pick from. I knew none of them .but one on the list a lady on my ward lived about 10 miles from me and she said the name of an agency and said if anyone mentions that one say no.that was first on the list ,the second I did not know the third my gut said yes. So I said that one. I was lucky there was a man in hospital who worked there ,he knew how I had been treated in there and he helped me .i am so grateful to him.when I came home I had 4 carers a day.the people came lovely people helped me ,talked to me were so nice was like that for a few weeks. Then all of a sudden most of the nice ones had gone. I got three coming aswell who could not have cared less about me. One in and out in 10mins. One thought as soon as she done what she thought she had to do.would stand there and for about 20 times would ask me if there was anything else I needed. At the time was in so much agony and felt so ill.yes they sent me out of hospital like that.i found out she did this because as soon as I said no thankyou she could go.well 3 three that came to replace the nice one stressed me out so much.i still had few the nice ones but these 3 coming more and more.i could not walk at all. Now bowlingbun this something you wanted to know on a post you wrote.the council had a machine they had to clock in and out. Now you would think the carers would get told off for not staying the time. No this particular social worker used it to cut people’s care time. She did it with me. I could have all the carers coming and going clocking in and out at the correct time.but if one clocked in and out early she was only interested in that one log none of the others.so she could use it to reduce my care and say I did not need all the carers coming I need. Apparently she has done it to lots of old people(she has gone in my complaint).the carers that came as asked them not to clock off early .as I would get grieve off the council.and they didn’t but most of them didn’t anyway. When they finished there jobs if there was sometime left they would sit and talk to me,because the knew I only saw them. The 3 that stressed me out. I asked them not to do it. They said oh so sorry won’t happen again.then next week would be the same.this went on for 3 weeks .after what I went through in hospital I can’t cope with behaviour like this anymore. So when each of them came I said please do don’t come here again . I got why. I said you know why. Please go and they went and never came back. Then the nice ones came back. I found out these ones I had come to my house was because no one else wanted them at there house.what upset me was when I refused to have them 3 at my house I knew they would be put at someone else’s house.
All I can think of to say about them not doing there time and staying there time. I know my carers would sometimes go 5 mins early but they would ask ,it was because they given no travel time to the next app.You could explain to the care agency tell them what they are doing ask her to stop it.the only other thing I can think off. Are they all doing it or certain ones?.if it is certain ones.Go round when they are going to see her for a call and say my mum sees no one. And could you please do the jobs and then sit and have a chat with her please.
About these two things I don’t know which is write as I’ve been told two different things.perhaps someone on here may know. I’ve read that carers are suppose to stay for the allocated time so if there booked for half and hour .they stay for that time. I think that was on some law site.
Now the carers who came to me ,the care agency had told them that if everything was done and nothing needed to be done. Then they could leave earlier about 5 minutes. I think that is because sometimes the poor carers had no travel time to get to the next person. I did not mind that.aslong as I got no grieve off the counsel .
So no I don’t think all care agencies are the same or carers are the same. I think you need to ask people who live where your mum lives who has carer to find the good ones. Someone once said this to me .that people are born carers .people who care are that way in nature they are born that way.that they don’t do it for the money they do it because they care .if they did it for the money they would not do it.
I was luckily once sorted the people who cared for me ,were people who cared.genuinely for me.help me . And I was so glad I had picked them . I hope you manage to sort things out.sending love.
I am a former carer, I looked after my late Husband for 30 years. Its very sad to see. There are so many agencies out there, but sadly everything is down to times. If they are booked for 30 mins, then they should stay for that time. But sadly they have to write the notes up on the patient. so this cuts down on time. Best wishes Amanda Harrison
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Hello @18Amanda27h yes I agree with what you said to the lady .i explained to her what it was like when I had carers last year. And also there are the things that you have said. It is all time. Sometimes the lovely carers were expected to finish one job and start the other job at the same time when it was the other side off town it was impossible. And sometimes they could not get phone signal at places .would come to my house in a right flap cos they had 10 peoples notes to right up because they had not been able to.i would say sort me out get the things done and then while we have a little chat you can do your notes.they would say are you sure .i said yes or your going to be way behind with them. Not an easy job.one for the job itself ,and 2 because like you say it’s all time. There were a couple that tried it on with me .i just asked them not to come.that was because I always seemed to get a one before me who needed a lot more time than the counsel gave her so they would run over then come to me very late half my time gone but still think they could go at the same time so I did not get my time. I got grieve of the council saying if they were doing that they tried to reduce it.and once they did do. Then the other carers who did other jobs at my house to help me made sure everything was done and nice.if it had carried on they wouldn’t have had enough time. But then when they went everything was fine.you will know what it’s like if you used to carer.
I am sorry to hear about your husband that must be hard. I hope that you are doing ok. Take care sending love
@18Amanda27h, I get it. Time sadly is their enemy. My condolences of your loss. My he rest in peace.
Good morning, Teddybear, when i had my Hip replaced in 2015, which was not a great success. As the Hospital did not believe that my Anxiety levels, were sky high. they wanted to give me an epidural , & i freaked out in tears, so the next thing was op was all over & I was back in bed. 4 days later back, home, Carers into look after my beloved Husband , when social services read the notes on my beloved Husband as it said (Made Amanda sBed) !! They were fuming with me. So an
so again , i struggled. My other hip needs doing, but i am beyond scared of Hospitals & doctors. so i am going down the holistic route regards Amanda Harrison
@18Amanda27h oh you poor thing ,you have been through it. Hip replacement big job, and that was not a nice thing to do when you were scared. Is you hip bad now still the one you had done. Some people I know had great surgeries others not so good and still in pain. Social workers are disgraceful they pick up on things they want to.
Hospitals , doctor I steer clear if I can . All they have ever done is made me more ill. It was a doctor that made me first ill 35 years ago gave me the wrong medicine made me ill and then flipping retired. No doctor would listen or help , being treated appallingly by them. Hospital was hell. In 2024 I broke 6 bones ,had pneumonia and infections because I spent two days on the floor till someone found me.hospital long story. Consultant ignored me for 3.5 months. Lots of other things. All gone to PALS for investigation.then I’ll send it PHSO. Then come out to social services after all gone through in hospital come out to them. So going through all the above.
Is the hip you have done any better. And is the other hip bad. Are you managing ok .
So I know how you feel about doctors and hospitals and now we can add social workers to the list. I told the social workers last year that they were not allowed in my house, email yes. Visit no. My house is my sanctuary I don’t want them here. When I was in so much pain the nurse practioner came she was nice but did not know what to do.as none pain meds work. She was nice so if I ever need anyone I’ll ring and ask for her. I don’t find doctors approachable there attitude.
I don’t know if this will help you. I know they helped my dad. Sadly he is no longer with us .he passed away in 2024 and my mum in 2014. They were my world , my best friends.my dad needed a new hip but he did not have one because he was quite old but he was in a lot of pain. The doctor who he went to see at the hospital said to him ,I can try this he said I can give you an injection to see if that will help. And I’m sure he it did because the pain was better than it was. But he said the only problem is I can only give you these for four years. I think he just had one a year. Well he had them for four years and I know he had them after that.because he had asked the doctor. And whatever they must do he said I’ll have to check your levels and he did and he said your ok so I can give you another. I don’t know if they cured the pain completely. But he did not screw his face in pain anymore lol. Or wince and dad had high pain tolerance we all do thank goodness.so he must have been in so much pain to be like that.
Might be worth just enquiring and looking up. To see what they are.
Is the holistic approach working. I hope so. I hope your not in to much pain. Take care.
Hugs. This is why I don’t use care companies. I hope you can find good care. If you use the Internet it will make it much easier.
What do you suggest instead? Maybe tell us a bit about your caring role?