Hello i am struggling with the website abit i start writing and it goes hopefully i havnt sent half a message. I am separated 67 but due to still living with husband who is 79 i have become his carer suddenly. He doesnt seem to want to do much for himself now and gets confused puts ice cream in fridge etc cant get up easily if crouches down, wont go places, neglects himself alot more, thinks people have been round when no.one has. We dont have family who support us partly due to my long term depression which worsened recently and i didnt know if i wanted to go on, but with councelling and now on a different anti depressant i might see end of dark tunnel. Caring though is tough as i kind of resent being the one to do it as i know he wouldnt do it for me i have kind of spent last 8 years isolating myself indoors due to complicated grief. it seems to make me snappy at times and i dont seem to feel i can go anywhere for longer than a few hours at most, where i am just coming through a very dark period i now need to focus on someone who is a kind man but i have been separated a long time and we remained friends its just not what i planned as im sure many of here felt often. I feel i could write forever but i dont want to put people off as i do care but i dont want to be the one who is. We are waiting for memory clinic assessment which coukd be ages, and im thinking he will refuse help as hes always wanted to know what im doing i cant ever imagine him being in a care place but i need a break too.
I like to read something ive just restarted on feeling bit better its escapism for me.
Thankyou for taking time to hear me if you reply that would be really nice
Jackie