Witts End

New to Carers Connect
1

Hi. I am a mother of 2 boys, (24 and 36) both with “conditions”, although neither have been properly diagnosed. The eldest, who is believed to have Asperger’s Syndrome, has returned home due to a relationship breakdown, and more recently, his 3 children have also moved in with us since their mother wasn’t caring for them as she should. My youngest has Epileosy and “possible” Dyspraxia. He moved out into his own flat last year because the change in the dynamics at home were stress at home causing him to have seizures, after being 3 and a half years seizure free. He now has his current girlfriend living with him, although she is quite immature, and he has been having more frequent seizures (not certain what is causing these).

I have had enough of the abuse they dish out to me and just want to vent, but would really like some coping strategies to help with supporting, loving and caring for them.

I have been there trying to support them through all the trials of life and responsibility, but think that maybe, I have done too much. I am tryingvto take a step back to let them learn for themselves, but am finding it difficult to watch them suffer. However, when I do step into help, it seems I can’t do right for doing wrong. Can anyone relate/help with this.

2

I’m thinking an award medal with a halo attached for good service to family. Where do we start if the grandchildren were not there. I would say back to basics as far as your son’s are concerned. Actions have consequences. If they act like children regardless of a disability or not. Your home your rules.

How old are the grandchildren. Are the grandchildren behaviour/s OK.

Your children are adults they are responsible for their own actions. They can do as they please in their own homes.

I am afraid you will have to grow a very thick skin.

3

Your eldest must move out. He had no right to move back in. He should go back to the family home and his wife move out.

4

Your method is not working, you have to try something else, let them make their mistakes.

When my son was a teenager, I used to tell him, (always in jest, as fortunately he was never a problem) “Leave home now son, while you still know it all”