Unbearable behaviour

Hi sorry if this is something that has been covered before but I couldn’t see anything specific about the carers. My elderly grandmother is constantly demanding that we come to her. She rings us at work and asks why we can’t come up to make her a cup of tea? When she knows we are home she rings almost every hour with some excuse to get us up. It is constant, they’re are four of us in the family running after her on top of full time jobs and nothing is enough. She has carers coming in three times a day but still rings us in the in between to demand our presence. This is on top of the afternoon and evening visits that she gets every day without fail from one of us. We’ve tried to set boundaries but she basically plays acts and cry’s that somethings wrong when it isn’t. We’ve told her the effect she is having on our family and our help but it never seems to make a difference and she turns it round to her being the victim. Please help

Hi Julie

I think we need to have more information to help you…
Grandmother’s disabilities
What benefits she claims.
Has she had an updated needs assessment.
Her age and current capabilities.
In the first instance I would suggest you all get additional mobiles. And don’t give her the new numbers. Put you other mobile on record messages.
As she doesn’t sound to be in immediate danger. I would make her wait.
Does she have a emergency pendant.

Do you think she is beginning to suffer from dementia? It really sounds like a case of “Elderly Toddler Syndrome”.
The very elderly become entirely self focussed, it becomes impossible for them to see how much are doing for them.

Make sure she has a pendant alarm for genuine emergencies, then put your answerphone on and leave it on.

Set the times when you will visit, and stick to them.